"I'm just dumb."

After being accused of calling Zinedine Zidane a “terrorist”, Marco Materazzi pleaded innocent to such accusations and offered this explanation in his defense:

“I did insult him, it’s true. But I categorically did not call him a terrorist. I’m not cultured and I don’t even know what an Islamic terrorist is.” [Full article]

Wow. Does anyone else see the genius in Materazzi’s satement? He’s like Ed Norton’s character in Primal Fear.  Remember that scene when Richard Gere is walking away from Ed Norton’s cell and Ed Norton goes, “Mr. Vail, will you tell Ms. Vandable that I’m sorry about her neck?” Yeah, you do. That was cinematic history right there and if you missed out on it, you might as well lock yourself in a room and sleep in your own feces because you suck. So back to Materazzi. I wonder at what point it crossed his mind to just call himself an idiot knowing it would get him off scott-free. Well, at this point we don’t know if he will get off scott-free but, if he does, the powers that be at MENSA should give him a fucking medal. And, yes, that means Sharon Stone wearing nothing but her own “medal”. I don’t know what “nothing but her own ‘medal’” is supposed to be but it sounds naughty. Anyway, the point is we can all learn a lot from Mr. I-will-only-be-remembered-as-the-dude-Zidane-headbutted-in-the-chest. Next time you’re in trouble, just cry stupidity. Here’s an example of how it could’ve helped Winona Ryder out:

“Ms. Ryder, did you steal those clothes?”

“Clothes? I’m too stupid to know what clothes are.”

SEE?? Genius.