Holy Photoshop, Batman

If there’s one thing I admire, it’s girls who play video games.

Wait, let me rephrase that.

I admire girls who play video games just as well as I do.

But if you’re better than me (which probably accounts for like 85% of all female gamers, including 9 years olds with their pink DS Lites), then I hate you and get all bitchy. Like, whatever, you’re probably fat and pimply and lack complete social skills. And guys only like you cause they might actually have a chance with you, unlike ME. *flips blonde hair over shoulder* Whatevs, bitches. (And then I go back to my horrible life that consists of being slaves to full grown adults who need help when it comes to picking up their Starbucks coffee or papers from the printer. Let’s see who the loser is now, nerds.)

Anyway, I’ve been stalking “TipperQueen,” who apparently is the reigning Guitar Hero champion and recently got to play onstage with Slash. (Sidenote: appearing on stage with a rock legend = cool, unless you’re holding a lame plastic guitar controller in your arms, while he plays the real instrument). Still, pretty cool. Like her website, where she states:

Many people assume I can’t really play the games I’m into because I’m a girl, but it’s those people holding back tears when I end up on top.

Hahaha. I wish I was a guy, cause I’d say something like, “yeah, on top OF MY PENIS.” Anyway, that was uncalled for. And I am not a guy. Plus, I agree. Many people assume I can’t really play the games I’m into because I’m a girl. The thing is that they’re right. I totally suck. Seriously, it’s these two things called “my ovaries” that are keeping me back from achieving real gamer status.

Anyway, being the superficial person that I am, my only question to this girl is: what is up with the photoshopping of the eyeliner, lady? You’re not fooling anyone. I swear to god, someone or this girl has digitally added some awkward black eyeliner onto almost every single photo on her site.

And if you don’t believe me, look at this. And this. Or this.

If you’re going to flaunt your femininity with your video game celebrity status………slowly drop the eyeliner pencil (or in this case, the mouse) and flaunt your natural features. C’mon now. You’re a pretty girl. You can do it.