Really, Margot? Really?

Everyone knows I am a fan of Dear Margot.

But I was super excited to read the Friday edition, which featured the following question:

DEAR MARGO: I am a 20-year-old college student and an anime fan in a relatively conservative household. My family is intolerant of other cultures. Here’s how my family sees my hobby: “Japanese b.s.” Here is the crux of my problem: I had decided to save money for some anime that was only available online. I had the money in my hand, which was a gift from this Christmas. When my parents found out, they refused to allow me to purchase the products because I am “becoming un-American.” (I should note at this point that I am a dependent because I am a full-time student.) I would like to know what I should do to let them know I am not un-American.

This is awesome! This is exactly what I wrote my senior thesis on! No, really! America’s obsession with all these Japanese–more specifically, anime. I even managed to use the word “bifurcated” in my introduction and trust me, that is a fucking hard word to use. It sounds like a bodily function, right? Like, “Dude, I just bifurcated my pants. My bad.”

Anyway, I was so eager to read her response. What would she explain? Would she respond with the growing (or once growing) affinity for Japanese animation, and how this student’s parents should be more open-minded? That such a hobby reflects the ongoing globalization (and possible exploitation) of a cultural idiosyncrasy? Would she even say something like “Maybe you have a fetish and should check that out before you talk to me about your un-American ways?” Or how about, “WTF, you’re 20 years old and in college, but you don’t even have a credit card or paypal account yet to buy some DVDs online? I know you’re dependent, but srsly, welcome to the 21st century.” Maybe even talk about hentai or something, you know? This is POP CULTURE.

But alas, her response just pretty much lame:

The word “anime” comes from animation, which was, of course, perfected by … Walt Disney, great American! Though anime was popularized in Japan, computerization is key, not Japanese culture.

What the hell, Margot. Perfected by Walt Disney? I beg to disagree. Great American? Have you ever heard of Song of the South?

And computerization, not culture? You don’t know ANYTHING about anime, so STFU about it. The whole genre is like 90% Japanese culture, and let me tell you. These parents just worried that their studious child is turning into those giant nerds who cosplay at the local comic convention and still live at home when they’re 35.

Here’s what this student should do. Lay off the anime. Take a deep breath and invest your gift money in a high-interest savings account. Get a credit card and don’t build up debt. And illegally download those anime DVDs off the Internet. Voila.

I’m the new Suze Orman…OF LIFE.