Oh, Speidi…This has got to stop.

It took me maybe like 5 minutes to finally watch this video. I hope it’s not because so many people are clamoring onto HeidiMontag.com and making her servers go crazy because that is NOT WHAT WE WANT FOR THESE PEOPLE, REMEMBER? We want them to experience failure, bankrupty, and loneliness. We want this horrid Hollywood couple to disappear forever for their overly self-promoting, nouveau riche, trashy classy lifestyles. This is not what fame and success is about. So why is everyone watching Heidi’s new video? STOP.

Here’s what I don’t get. I mean, sure, it’s brilliant that they have zero budget (even though they could easily sell her Hermes Birkin bag to not only fund new hair extensions for Heidi’s sister but also feed a small African village) and therefore, create a ironically “hip” video that glorifies the old 80’s, cheap, American Apparel-esque public-access channel look (though someone remind them that dressing in all American Apparel clothes is not cool anymore, only because I say so).  Whoa, I lost where that sentence was going.

But here’s what I don’t understand. Is she really not lip-syncing to the song? What is she singing along to? Why is the video is such slow motion while the song continues to play? Does that defeat the purpose off a music video? I mean, we know that everyone lip-syncs the music in their videos, but this is just ridiculous. Is something wrong with my computer? My Internet connection? Why is this song still stuck in my head?