Lost in 5 Minutes

There are very few things I am proud of. For example, I am proud that I am 28 years old and still have a Mongolian birth mark on my butt, even though most disappear around puberty but mine is AUTHENTIC and means I am directly related to Ghengis Kahn, or Mongolians but most probably just mongoloids.

In addition, I’m proud that I can’t snap my fingers, but we already went over this. Snapping fingers is overrated. I mean, what are you, some outdated beatnik who can’t express themselves without using fingers? GROW UP. Also, is this accompanying image on Wikipedia a joke?

Anyway, the point of this post is to also commend myself for watching all five seasons of Lost in the span of a month. Yes, that includes working a full-time job, shopping for holiday gifts, writing wedding Thank You cards and playing massive amounts of ODST. We would have finished sooner but watching an entire season in a single day (yes, we did that, too) can only be done once without wanting to tear your eyeballs out and end every conversation with a cliffhanger response plus over-dramatic look:

INT. LIVING ROOM — EVENING

B

I like you.

ME

I like you, too.

B

Thanks!

ME

…But not as much as I like DONUTS.

CUE WEIRD VIOLIN/TRUMPET SOUND AS CAMERA SLOWLY ZOOMS INTO MY EYEBALL.

But that’s not as annoying as wanting to kick off every morning by publicly stating, “Previously on…”

Soooooo here’s the thing: maybe I shouldn’t be as proud, because these two guys summed up the past seasons of Lost in 5 minutes. WTF. I could have watched this and done more productive things last month instead of sitting in front of the TV.

Also, this rules:

Final Season Of ‘Lost’ Promises To Make Fans More Annoying Than Ever

Nothing is as amazing as this: