Words with People Who Are No Longer My Friends

Okay, I’m kidding about that last part. You guys are all my friends. I just totally suck at Scrabble-esque games like Words with Friends and I have never, ever, ever won a single game. I currently have 8 games going on, and I’m losing all of them by at least 100 points. It’s ridiculous. How is this possible?

I read a lot, I know lots of words and I think I did pretty well on the verbal portion of my SATs. I wrote over 15 pages of crap for my senior thesis. I GRADUATED FROM A UNIVERSITY.  So how come I totally blow at this game? ARGGGGH.

The only thing that’s keeping me from throwing my phone across the room during the game is knowing that I still totally rule with the quick math tests on Brain Age. Take that, nerds! You may consider “QI” a word, but at least I can add, subtract and multiply better!

So there. Is English not your first language? Are you under the age of 10? Are you mildly retarded yet you somehow have an iPhone? Are you missing fingers? LET’S PLAY. My self-esteem needs it. Badly. Otherwise, I might eat a tub of ice cream alone on Valentine’s Day.

Speaking of Valentine’s Day, I worked really hard on this post. And by “post,” I really mean all those blinged out gifs.