Alice Underground

There was a time when I’d be excited for Tim Burton’s chapter of the classic Alice in Wonderland, since his works feature such fantastic visual creativity. But his overly colorful take on Alice is turning into a big turn off for me; from the promotional photos, videos and ads that I’ve seen, the world seems very gaudy and unappealing. Maybe I miss Burton’s dark, Gothic style where everything seemed to have a touch of the macabre.

But now I know for sure that I won’t be watching this movie. Why the hell did they pick Avril Lavigne for the feature song? Why does she bang away on the piano when you can barely hear it in the song? Why is she yelling instead of singing? Could she have used any other word to rhyme besides “ground,” “now,” and “around”? When will Avril realize she’s not in junior high anymore? You’re an overpaid divorcee!!!

Tim, I’m disappointed in you. I know you’re old and fat now, but have more respect for your fans. Well, don’t think I’m a fan or anything. I’ve never seen A Nightmare Before Christmas. But COME ON NOW. Avril!?