The Books (And The REAL Books) of 2015

I’m a few days late but here it is! My annual “these are all the books I read this past year.” It used to be an impressive 30-50 collection of titles, but then shit happened, and you know, there were a few long seasons where my brain couldn’t handle any reading beyond email or blogs or dumb Facebook posts or where I simply had ZERO time to sit down and start something new. In fact, there’s one book that I’ve had FOREVER, and I totally love it because every word is so delightful but something is keeping me from finishing it. I can’t explain why. I think a part of me doesn’t want it to end and the other part of me is scared to get emotionally invested in the story because it just reminds me of everything that I’m not accomplishing in my life. Isn’t that depressing.

So according to GoodReads, I only read 11 books in 2015. And only enjoyed little over half of them (in bold). How pathetic is that? (The fact that I only accomplished 11 books, not that I didn’t like all of them.)

1. A Spool of Blue Thread – Tyler, Anne
2. All the Light We Cannot See – Doerr, Anthony
3. The Well – Chanter, Catherine
4. Dear Life: Stories – Munro, Alice
5. A Tale for the Time Being – Ozeki, Ruth
6. Fates and Furies – Groff, Lauren
7. The Heart Goes Last – Atwood, Margaret (Margaret, what happened to you? This book was NOT GOOD.)
8. The Making of the Atomic Bomb – Rhodes, Richard
9. Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children – Riggs, Ransom (OVERRATED)
10. Cleopatra: A Life – Schiff, Stacy
11. Olivay – Reed, Deborah

BUT HERE’S THE THING. It’s not true. I’ve read HUNDREDS of books. THOUSANDS. REALISTICALLY, AT LEAST 50.

Because we read to the toddler almost every night. Sure, there aren’t that many words, and they often rhyme or aren’t even in complete sentences, and so what if the pages are less like pages and more like thick sheets of cardboard, perfect for chubby baby fingers to clutch? I STILL READ THEM FAITHFULLY ALMOST EVERY NIGHT. So here is my more accurate reading list of 2015.

1. Where Is Baby’s Belly Button? – Karen Katz
2. A Potty For Me – Karen Katz
3. Where Is Baby’s Beach Ball? – Karen Katz
4. First 100 Words – Roger Priddy
5. First 100 Animals – Roger Priddy
6. Llama Llama Red Pajama – Anna Dewdney
7. Llama Llama Zippity-Zoom – Anna Dewdney
8. Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? – Bill Martin
9. Peek-A-Who – Nina Laden
10. My Friends – Tara Gomi
11. Dear Zoo – Rod Campbell
12. Little Blue Truck – Alice Schertle
13. Moo, Ba, La-La-La – Sandra Boynton
14. ANIMALS – DK Publishing
15. Bottoms Up! – Yusuke Yonezu
16. Peek-a-Boo Rainbow – Anonymous
17. Baby Baa Baa! – DK Publishing
18. The Crayola RAINBOW Color Book – Crayola?
19. COLORS – Someone
20. Animals – Not to be confused by ANIMALS above
21. The Wheels On The Bus – Jerry Smath
22. The Going To Bed Book – Sandra Boynton
23. FIRST WORDS – Whatever
24. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star – Caroline Jayne Church
25. Toot – Leslie Patricelli
26. Polar Bear Polar Bear, What Do You Hear – Bill Martin and Eric Carle
27. Curious George PAT-A-CAKE
28. Curious George Bigger and SMaller
29. Gallop! – Rufus Butler Seder
30. Love You Forever – The Worst People Ever
31. Goldilocks and the Three Bears – No author cause this book doesn’t even have any words.
32. Big Enough For A Bed
33. Little Hide and Seek ANIMALS
34. The Noisy Counting Book
35. Curious George at the Zoo – Isn’t this akin to taking a toddler to visit a prison?
36. Counting Dogs
37. The Foot Book – Dr. Seuss (and not some guy with a gross fetish)
38. Yum! Yum! – Yusuke Yonezu
39. We Love Each Other – Yusuke Yonezu
40. Guess What – Fruit – Yusuke Yonezu
41. Good Night, Moon
42. The Wheels On The Bus – Different from the Jerry Smath edition since this one plays the music.
43. The Itsy Bitsy Snowman – Jeffrey Burton and Sanja Rescek
44. I Love My Clothes – Someone who picked the creepiest stock photos of babies to use.
45. You Are My Baby: Safari – Lorena Siminovich
46. Baby Loves Spring – Karen Katz
47. Baby’s Best Friend – A photographer who only takes photos of white babies and is probably a racist.
48. Balls – Not a joke
49. First Book of Sushi – Also not a joke
50. Hush Little Baby – A horrible person who wants every parent to sing this song in their head forever after reading this book.

FWIW, none of them are in bold because the thought of having to read them all aloud again makes me want to gouge my eyes out. Just kidding. I love reading to fidgety toddlers who love reading the same book over and over and over and over and over again.

So there. I did it. Don’t you tell me otherwise.