THE STEP STOOL: A One Act Play About My Life

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FADE IN:

INT. BEDROOM – EARLY MORNING

The room is almost completely dark with only the faintest of light coming through the cracks between the blackout curtains. The clock on the nightstand reads 6:15am. Not even the sun is up yet.

MOYE, a sleep-deprived human being, is a LUMP on the bed.

TODDLER, a miniature human being who doesn’t understand the concept of sleeping in, runs in to stand next to the bed. She raises her arms.

TODDLER

Up?

MOYE doesn’t move.


TODDLER

Up? Up?


MOYE pulls the duvet covers back but doesn’t get up.


MOYE

Good morning.


TODDLER

Up? Up? Up?

 

MOYE

How about in a little bit?

 

TODDLER

Up! Up! Up!

 

MOYE

Oh, I know. Why don’t you bring the stool
over? The step stool that Daddy and I got
you? The expensive one from Land of Nod?
Remember?

 

TODDLER

Up! Up!

 

MOYE

Get the stool! Bring the stool over and
you can step on it and climb into bed with
me.


TODDLER

Shurr-eal? [Cereal?]

 

MOYE

The stool! Bring the stool over here. Go
get the stool. THE STOOL. Okay?


TODDLER

Ooooh-tay.

 

TODDLER just stands there.


MOYE

Get the stool. It’s in the bathroom.
Remember?


TODDLER

Ooo-air? [Where?]

 

MOYE

The bathroom. Over there.


TODDLER

Ooo-air! [There!]

 

MOYE

Yes! Get the stool.


TODDLER

Ooo-air? [Where?]

 

MOYE

THE BATHROOM. GET THE STOOL.

 

TODDLER squeals.

MOYE

Yes, the stool!

 

TODDLER flaps her arms, starts to run out of the room and then stops.

 

MOYE

The stool! Go ask Daddy where it is!

 

TODDLER

DA-DEEEEE!

 

TODDLER runs out of the room. MOYE breathes a sigh of relief and then beams with pride because her 20 month old has clearly understood her and is a genius and already knows how to problem solve and she should really talk to DADDY to start saving up for that Ivy League college education that the TODDLER will undoubtedly need. What a great day.

TODDLER runs back into the room and holds up a NECK PILLOW.

 

TODDLER

Boo! Boo! Boo!


MOYE silently weeps into her pillow.

FADE OUT.

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