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Janet Jackson was recently in Tokyo promoting her new album, 20 Y.O.. To better connect with her Japanese audience, Janet mastered the demure smile-and-wave demonstrated above. She also went so far as to, not only wear their traditional garb but, squint her eyes to intimate that she is just like them. I kid you not. See for yourself. Someone on her team should’ve instructed her to pull down at her eyes’ edges. Down being the operative word. Pulling up would be Chinese.
How else can you explain the bowling-ball-sized welt on the top of his dome? Ever wonder why you’ve probably never seen funnyman Cedric without a hat on? No? Me neither. But it makes sense now. His head is deformed. It looks like Alien is trying to bust through is skull.
One more picture after the jump.
I get it. I really do. People like Asian shit. Asian food. Asian art. Asian religions. Asian cars. Asian massages. Asian girls. Asian girls. Did I mention Asian girls? So it only makes sense for Web sites to capitalize on everyone’s fascination with everything Asian. Some are subtle about it and others aren’t. Here are a couple that aren’t.
Created with Japanese style and pure adidas technology…
Equipped with Japanese characters, an anime-inspired cartoon character that pops up every few seconds, and, to top it off, an “Athletic Shoe Haiku”:
Happiness on feet.
Ultra-light, ultra-clean…fast and sleek.
Reach performance peek.
tokidoki means “sometimes” in Japanese. I chose a Japanese word because I love Japan.
I don’t even know where to start. How about with the endless graphics of Asian women, with slits for eyes in compromising poses. There’s even a “supaaaa Sushi race” game where you can race a piece of nigiri around a track set on a table, avoiding obstacles such as puddles of spilt soy sauce and electric eels.
No? You don’t know Du Juan? Well, you should because she’s about the blow the fuck up!
Her pouting features and willowy figure have helped the stunning 20-year-old reach stardom with incredible speed. [Full Article]
Maybe it’s fitting that her name is Juan since it looks like she’s channeling Lou Diamond Phillips in Stand and Deliver with that hairnet but, as a model, you gotta work it, even if you’ve got cafeteria-workerware on your head. That’s what it takes to succeed in the industry, as I’ve learned from watching six and a half seasons of America’s Next Top Model. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Du’s features are delicate like a lotus flower blooming in the subtle spring breeze, and her skin is smooth like a young bamboo covered in the dew of an early autumn morning. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what I learned in Professor Bickford’s art history seminar on Chinese gardens – how to describe Asian women as if they were water color paintings.
Is it just me or does she look like a cross between Kate Moss and Devon Aoki?
More pictures after the jump.
You probably recognize these guys (in case you don’t - ?uestlove, Black Thought, and Scott Storch):
But do you recognize these guys?
Luo Shiyuan prepares to wash his hair for the first time in twenty six years on September 26, 2006 in a village in Chongqing, China. Shiyuan at eighty-years-old has grown his very long hair to two meters and his beard to one and a half meters. (Photo by CQCB/ChinaFotoPress/Getty Images)
Dude, can you imagine what this guy smells like? No? Okay, try this. Go into your bathroom and piss in the corner. Now shit in the piss and throw a full durian fruit in there too for good measure. Now let it fester for 5 months. Then smell Moye’s armpit. Disgusting, RIGHT?
Forty-four year old Dong Changsheng of China pulls a 1.5 ton car for about 10 meters (about 32.8 feet) through ropes hooked on his lower eyelids as he performs a stunt on September 26, 2006 in a park in Changchun of Jilin Province, China. Dong has performed stunts around the country since 1991 through the help of Qigong, a system of deep breathing exercises, according to local media. (Photo by China Photos/Getty Images)
When I read about shit like this, the first thing I always wonder is, “How did he even figure out he could do that?” Seriously, was he sitting around really bored one day when he decided to shove hooks under his eyes and drag things around? Or maybe he was getting intimate with a lady friend one Sunday afternoon when one of his butterfly kisses took her head clean off. Yeah, that’s gotta be it.
One more picture after the jump. Don’t miss it. Or you’ll be sorry.
It really pains me to write this because I used to love Meg Ryan – she was easily my favorite actress – but her downward spiral cannot be ignored, as much as I wish it could be. Whereas before I would see pictures of Meg and run to the bathroom for some “me” time, now I’m just reminded of Jack Nicholson in Batman. What happened to When Harry Met Sally Meg? Or Sleepless in Seattle Meg? Or Kate & Leopold Meg? Now it seems like it’s In the Cut Meg everyday, all the time.
One more picture of Meg Ryan lookin like a hot mess at the 2006-2007 season opening night of the Metropolitan Museum after the jump.
Track and field line judge Lia Mara Lourenco is helped after a javelin hit her in her foot during ‘Brazil Trophy,’ a national track and field competition, in Sao Paulo, Brazil, Sunday, Sept. 24, 2006. (AP Photo/Jonne Roriz, Agencia Estado)
That’s all it would’ve taken. One conscientious person to give poor Lia Mara Lourenco a little warning that a javelin was coming screaming down from the sky to impale her in the foot. But nooooo. Everyone just stood around silent and now Ms. Lourenco will be walking around with limp for the rest of her life. Since I’m guessing her career as a track and field line judge is over, I see a bright future for her in the traveling circus. “Come one, come all! For $5 you can touch a Holey Foot!” Get it. Holey foot? Hahahahah damn, this is too much hilarity for a Tuesday morning.
These latest pictures of my wifey Scarlett are disturbing. As much as she raves about how she loves her humps, it seems like she’s trying to lose them as quickly as possible.
I’m curvy — I’m never going to be 5’11” and 120 pounds. But I feel lucky to have what I’ve got.
No shit Sherlett! There’s no way you’re going to grow 7 more inches since you’re obviously way past puberty. But my money’s on the fact that you’re already pretty damn close to 120 pounds and you’ll dip below that sooner than Moye can say, “Mitsubishi!”
More evidence of Scarlett’s disappearing act after the jump.
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