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FINALLY! Tomorrow we are off to Japan for 10 days. Things I hope to do:
So basically, I’ll be doing the same exact things that I do here. Fun!
So Ernie from 8A informed me that this is old by like 24 hours but whatever, this video is amazing. Well known fact: that’s exactly what I look like when I cry.
Two posts in a row about babies? WHO CARES!
Tags: beyonce, Single Ladies, youtube
I want to be Freddie Wong’s new best friend. Well, it seems like he has a lot of best friends in his videos, but maybe I can be his new best girl friend. Not girlfriend, because that would be kinda awkward (but he can probably talk me into it) but best girl friend (with the space, which entails that we would be best friends, but like, I’d braid his hair and tell him if his outfit looks okay and other girl stuff like that).
Can someone make this happen? Thanks!!!!
Tags: Freddie Wong, portal, youtube
Have you ever had a big YESSS! moment while sitting on your flat butt watching all the shows you’ve accumulated on your DVR? Yes? No? I kind of had that moment this weekend while watching the last episode of Funny or Die Presents. I was really excited to see the headline “ASIAN BABIES” in the episode description and to my joy, it was Mike O’Connell’s music video ode to the amazing-ness of Asian babies.
I think the fact that one day I will have my own is what gives me the will to live. Okay, that sounds really lame so maybe I should rephrase that. I think the fact that one day I will have an Asian baby poop out of my vagina gives me much excitement–wait, not the pooping out of the vagina part. That part kind of scares me. I’m just excited to know that my baby is naturally going to be fat and cute, while comedians like O’Connell are going to writhe in jealousy (though I will allow everyone to play with it).
I must say that I’m a bit disappointed, though, that because my future fat baby will be half Asian, they will not have the nice yellow Asian earwax. It’s a unique DNA trait, you use, which means that the gross wet earwax is the “default” type, which means that unless both parents have the dry earwax gene, their children will have weird wet goop coming out of their ear. This leads me to conclude that because B has gross wet earwax, my future fat baby will never enjoy the wonders of his (or her) ears being cleaned and scratched as I did with my Japanese mommy, which means I will never be able to enjoy this motherly duty, as so nicely described here. That thought alone makes me lose the will to live. I’m exaggerating.
Speaking of babies, thanks Facebook, for giving me this ad. I already know that’s exactly what my future fat baby is going to look like, so there’s no need for me to click on that link. You just lost out on $0.002 in revenue.
Tags: asian babies, funny or die, Mike O'Connell
My heart almost ’spoded and my pants were almost peed in when I saw the news that Studio Ghibli was releasing a new film based on the old novel, The Borrowers. And then I read that Hayao Miyazaki wasn’t directing this one, so my heart stopped yammering in my chest and I put the emergency roll of toilet paper away. Then I remembered that I was never really a fan of The Borrowers because as cool as their life was as miniature people ingenious enough to create a lifestyle around ginormous human sized items, the book was really boring.
Miyazaki and I just have great taste in young adult literature, like Diana Wynne Jones. He just needs to make a fantasy animated version of Emily of New Moon (BEST BOOK EVER) and then I’ll be set for life.
Tags: Hayao Miyazaki, Studio Ghibli, The Borrowers, totoro
No, let’s not talk about how this commercial features Jelly Beans wearing lacy underpants that get pulled off by the mouths of other Jelly Beans, and how this doesn’t relate at all to new cell phones. Or the fact that these Jelly Beans have butts. Or that Jelly Beans are pretty gross to eat.
Let’s talk about how they’re singing it like “Jerry” Beans. This reminds me of that time I made fun of my mom because she asked for a “grazed” donut. She’s my mom and I’m Asian so that means I’m not racist.
Tags: japan, Japanese commercial, Jelly Beans, youtube
So one of the things that I like to do with my face is smile, open my eyes wide and squeeze my cheeks together to look like a Cabbage Patch kid. I can’t be the only one who does this, right? My friend in junior high taught me this and we probably spent most of our lunch break making these faces. You did this too, right? RIGHT? Hello?
Well, you may look at me weird but I know I’m not allone because B sent me this lovely photo. And yes, I do feel better about myself.
Tags: Cabbage Patch Kids, Cheeks, Face
I love Japanese television. Seriously, everything about it is so great, from the pointless subjects, the dramatic music and the audience reaction (one of the things I like to do while hanging out with my mom is to react with a big “eeeehhhh???” to every un-shocking thing she says).
Or maybe it’s just Japanese dogs that are so great? I love Japanese dogs!
So now I have to decide: when we buy our farm, should we get a Shiba Inu or (as originally planned) a black Labrador?
Here’s the upside to getting a Shiba Inu: I know for a fact that when I die, my dog will remain faithful to me until his death, even if it means waiting at the train station day after day. Oh wait. That’s an Akita. Dammit.
Tags: dogs, japan, Japanese TV, shiba inu
My good friend Joz has been grounded. I’m not quite sure what that entails for a non-teenager, but it also meant that I was able to go over to her house and hold her amazing Sharpie Collector’s Edition Collection hostage. This collection is so amazing that I can’t even find it online.
It’s got rows and rows of colors!!!
Even three different shades of pink! And silver! So here’s the dilemma: what should I draw first with these markers? My first thought was a massive rainbow so I could use every single marker, but the idea of having to do all that shading doesn’t sound very fun.
Maybe a ransom note demanding $1 million to Joz in exchange for the complete collection, with each letter written with a different color?
Does anyone need me to draw giant “Garage Sale Today” signs?
Did anyone recently break their arm or leg so I can sign their cast?
Who wants to sniff these and get high with me?
Tags: Joz, markers, Sharpie Collection, sharpies
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