Oh my god, you guys. I spent half of the long weekend baking random things but also spent a quarter of it watching TLC’s sneak preview of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding which made me miss the trashiness of UK television programming (or “programmes” if I want to be all British and whatnot) and also helped me finish up another trashy Penny Vincenzi novel where I learned all about the horrors (at the time) of the national healthcare system and all the characters “rang off” instead of hanging up or ending a telephone call. I mean, how cute is that? “Rang off” sounds so much better and elegant. Anyway, so I spent two hours absorbing all I could about My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, because I was so excited to finally watch the series since it was first aired across the pond.
And that’s when I realized my new goal in life: become a gypsy wedding dress designer. The series follows a specific dress designer (which the series honestly depicts as if she’s the Monique Lhuillier of the Travellers–that’s the other word for gypsy which sounds so much better and more elegant, just like “rang off” for telephones. The traveler’s wedding dress designer called her latest client and then rang off. NICE!!) but while she never questions the taste of what these girls want, you can kind of tell that she’s literally just adding as much tulle and as many rhinestones as possible to all of her dresses. I can do that. I CAN SO DO THAT.
I mean, it would be the perfect career because not only would I make tons of money designing these elaborate and pricey dresses, but I would totally be reliving all the horrible dreams and fantasies from my childhood of being a fancy princess with lots of pink, poof and petticoats. Whoa, I think I just came up with my label name. Pink, Poof & Petticoats. The designer in the show made one dress that lit up with LED lights and battery powered butterfly wings, but I could go even one step further: a tulle ballgown made completely out of fiber-optic lights so the whole thing literally lit up. Or maybe a dress with a real running waterfall? Or a dress with a skirt that would show the latest tweets or Facebook updates from all the wedding guests. See, I’d be like the Haus of Gaga for gypsy weddings. Oh my god, you guys, this would be like the best thing ever. Now how do I make this happen?