Celebrity

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I know you’re all busy gagging over the extremely tanned mom, Patricia Krentcil, from New Jersey who was arrested for taking her five year old daughter to the tanning salon. I know, I know. OMG look at her skin, it’s like beef jerk, OMG how can she do this to herself, etc. etc. I get it. But can we talk about something more important?

Like how her daughter looks EXACTLY LIKE Ron Weasley? (Or Rupert Grint because Weasley is a fictional character, but whatever.)

Look! Even her profile! Someone send her to Hogwarts, stat! Maybe she can meet up with these kids.

Dreams really do come true, and not the nightmarish kind. Also, sometimes geeking out to the point of stalker-dom helps. Remember when I totally freaked out because an episode of Henry’s Kitchen was being filmed next door?

Well, instead of my neighbor issuing a restraining order against me, the opposite happened. A friend recognized a guy in the video who turned out to live next door, told him about me being obsessed with the series, then told me that she told him and that he told her that I could come on a shoot, and then he left me a note on my door about the shoot, and then I called him (before accidentally texting a complete stranger beforehand, which was totes embarrassing) and then he told me about the shoot and then I went to visit and got to be in the background of the very final episode of Henry’s Kitchen.

And that is how I finally met my neighbor. Yes, it took a mutual friend, a stalkerish blog post, a viral video series, one note, a wrong text message and a phone call. All the while, I could have just knocked on his front door but then I would have nothing to blog about.

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Sometimes when I watch my favorite reality TV shows, I try to imagine what it would be like to be on television, faced with the same situation, talking to the same people and dealing with all the cameras. And then I remember, hey! I did that already!

I think most of you know, but B and I were on an episode of Secrets from a Stylist on HGTV earlier this year where we totally lucked out and had our guest room made over by the one and only Emily Henderson. I was too lazy and busy (lasy? buzy?) to write about it but since the year is wrapping up, I decided to get it all down.

B was hesitant at first to appear on camera but everything fell into place and you’d have to be insane to turn down a free offer to change over what used to be an eyesore room in the house. All we had to do was have shoot for two days and hand over our house key while we went out our daily lives. It was a little nerve-wracking to leave our house behind but the whole crew was awesome and nice that it was like having a bunch of friends hang out there while we…weren’t allowed to come home. Or something like that?

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Here’s a sign that you’re getting old: you begin to enjoy everything you used to hate when you were younger. For example, I used to think salt and vinegar chips but now I think they’re amazing. I used to hate Pearl Jam and now I kinda dig their songs. And I used to hate Melissa Joan Hart but now I kind of giggled at this video. What is wrong with me!?

Oh yeah, I’m old.

I was really excited this past weekend because we’re big fans of Henry’s Kitchen and I recognized Henry himself outside of our house and almost peed my pants when it turned out he was filming his next episode RIGHT NEXT DOOR. Look! It’s our wall! It’s our bathroom window! It’s our roof! Our house is officially a YouTube celebrity. Read the rest of this entry »

My awesome friend Jason at Naughty Dog commissioned a painting from JSalvador, the artist responsible for My Super Emo Friends. This time, it was Uncharted’s Nathan Drake to get in touch with his feelings and Jason asked everyone for ideas on why the action character would be sad. Well, easy. He’s tired from all that climbing he has to do! Jason picked my caption and here’s the final piece!!!

 

Sorry for the worst post title ever but I can’t think of any other way to succinctly say it. Being married to a music snob means being forced to listen to a lot of unfamiliar music which means on long rides makes you have unfamiliar thoughts about it. Like, why do metal bands even bother writing lyrics to their song when all they do is scream? How come Morrissey is so depressed? How was Korn ever popular? Why is Styx’s “Come Sail Away” the best song ever? Why do some bands insist on using a children’s choir to make their songs sound more epic? Lately, I’ve been realizing that there are some bands out there that actually have their own band name in the lyrics. I mean, isn’t that weird?

How does that song writing process come together? “Hey, you know what line would go great here? If we used the same words that make up the name of our band. Awesome.” Weird. Yes, these are the thoughts that go through my head. Here’s my list of songs where the lyrics feature the name of the band singing them. Feel free to add any that I may be missing.

Big Country – In The Big Country

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So…is it just me or does this model have an insanely large head? I’ve been staring at this dress online for quite a while, but only because I’ve been trying to figure out how this girl’s head to body ratio is physically possible. At first I thought it was just a really bad Photoshop job but then I realized that every single picture of her is like this.

But then I checked the other dresses…

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So…where’s the part where they check into a hotel? Jake, I thought you were cooler than this.

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Oh my god, you guys. I spent half of the long weekend baking random things but also spent a quarter of it watching TLC’s sneak preview of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding which made me miss the trashiness of UK television programming (or “programmes” if I want to be all British and whatnot) and also helped me finish up another trashy Penny Vincenzi novel where I learned all about the horrors (at the time) of the national healthcare system and all the characters “rang off” instead of hanging up or ending a telephone call. I mean, how cute is that? “Rang off” sounds so much better and elegant. Anyway, so I spent two hours absorbing all I could about My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, because I was so excited to finally watch the series since it was first aired across the pond.

And that’s when I realized my new goal in life: become a gypsy wedding dress designer. The series follows a specific dress designer (which the series honestly depicts as if she’s the Monique Lhuillier of the Travellers–that’s the other word for gypsy which sounds so much better and more elegant, just like “rang off” for telephones. The traveler’s wedding dress designer called her latest client and then rang off. NICE!!) but while she never questions the taste of what these girls want, you can kind of tell that she’s literally just adding as much tulle and as many rhinestones as possible to all of her dresses. I can do that. I CAN SO DO THAT.

I mean, it would be the perfect career because not only would I make tons of money designing these elaborate and pricey dresses, but I would totally be reliving all the horrible dreams and fantasies from my childhood of being a fancy princess with lots of pink, poof and petticoats. Whoa, I think I just came up with my label name. Pink, Poof & Petticoats. The designer in the show made one dress that lit up with LED lights and battery powered butterfly wings, but I could go even one step further: a tulle ballgown made completely out of fiber-optic lights so the whole thing literally lit up. Or maybe a dress with a real running waterfall? Or a dress with a skirt that would show the latest tweets or Facebook updates from all the wedding guests. See, I’d be like the Haus of Gaga for gypsy weddings. Oh my god, you guys, this would be like the best thing ever. Now how do I make this happen?

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