Celebrity

So don’t tell anyone but Keri Hilson’s “Pretty Girl Rock” is my secret anthem to life right now. It’s what I sing to myself every morning when I look in the mirror, except that it’s kind of awkward because I’m basically telling myself to not hate me for all my awesome self confidence, but if I’m talking to myself, am I implying that I’m my worst enemy because I dislike this aspect of my personality? Does that mean I’m full of self-hate?

I think I am. That girl looking back at me is my high school self who thought I was the shit because I was into punk music, indie films and pre-Daily Show Jon Stewart. I hated the crap that MTV’s Total Request Live would play and instead I would stay up late to watch all the great music they aired on 120 Hours. This old me would go to so many concerts and shows, read indie music publications and staple the hem of my school uniform skirt because I was too edgy to sew it up. I’d go see The Smashing Pumpkins perform live but skip the following KISS show because old guys dressing up in spandex and make-up was so lame. (For what it’s worth now, I regret leaving that show early very much. IF ONLY I HAD STAYED!!!) I’d scrawl lyrics on the soles of my Jack Purcells, wear ballchain necklaces, make plans to one day go sky-diving over the Bahamas and promised myself to never ever ever drive a station wagon.

Nowadays, I prefer to stay in rather than go out. I like to sew all the buttons back on my clothes if they fall off. My ears hurt when B plays his metal bands. I justify my 9-to-5 office job with Stevo’s realization at the end of SLC Punk that there’s no future in anarchy and that you could do a hell of a lot more damage in the system than outside of it. I am living in the system and I’m okay with it. Also, that movie was awesome. Occasionally, I see the value and convenience in driving a station wagon. So here I sit, dancing to bubblegum pop music, taking comfort knowing that I’ve got a 401K and slowly understanding that the dreams I used to entertain over 10 years ago were never going to last forever.

But I don’t like to think about it. I like to think about what I do enjoy, and though the music video is cheesy (though I do appreciate the homage to TLC), I love this song. Just don’t tell anyone, okay? Lisa already said I was getting uncool when I admitted to her that I liked Bruno Mars, but if everyone knew about this song, I’d be the most unpopular person ever.

I know I always feel bad whenever B tries to talk deep thoughts about movies but this is what happens when I try to talk to him about my interests, like reading about glamorous celebrities from Hollywood’s bygone eras. This is a conversation that happened kind of like this:

Me: So I was reading about Vivien Leigh today.
B: Why?
Me: Because I think she was interesting.
B: Did she die today?
Me: No, she died a long time ago but she was bipolar.
B: Who is she again?
Me: She was in Gone with the Wind.
B: I think Audrey Hepburn is really interesting
Me: Yeah? [Here's where I start thinking about her illustrious career, her childhood in Europe, etc.]
B: She had a pet deer.

Then I changed the subject because really, what does having a pet deer have to do with anything?!

I’m so glad someone finally addressed this ongoing issue over the fact that people never say goodbye in their phone conversations in movies and television. I can suspend my disbelief over the use of the 555-xxxx numbers but when I’m expected to follow believable dialogue between two people over the phone, how come they can’t ever include a simple farewell? No one ever hangs up the phone like that, and if anyone really does, it means you’re in the middle of a fight or you’re just really rude.

If your main character doesn’t have the time to say goodbye, then at least have the decency to show the scene on the other end of the line, where the person is really confused and keeps saying “Hello? Hello?” into the phone. See, then I’d believe it. Thanks for listening, Hollywood.