Fashion

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Catching Up On 2011: WTF ETSY

December 3, 2011 in Fashion, food, omg, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Okay, I know I haven’t blogged in a while. I also hate it when people say that. Like, really, who cares. But I made a conscious effort to avoid writing here because I had to focus on homework and my plan was to start once the semester was over and before the next one started. But then since focusing on homework also meant avoiding all video games, I had to catch up on that. And then I had the worst Thanksgiving ever (including two ER visits) which really didn’t put me in the mood to write. And then other stuff. But now I’m back.

And since I have so much to catch up on, I’m going to procrastinate and talk about this WTF crap I found on Etsy. It’s Christmas shopping season which means I like to scour Etsy for all the things that I want which also means I search for random things like “chicken” which leads me to stuff like this.

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25 Ways To Wear A Scarf I Don’t Own

November 14, 2011 in Fashion, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

If you know me, then you know I love to wear scarves. Unfortunately, I mostly only have knit scarves but one day I dream about owning a big, soft, cotton scarf and wearing it 25 different ways like this hot little lady here. Why is this girl so pretty? I wish I looked like her.

Anyway…I KNOW, RIGHT? A new blog post? I’ve been meaning to write here more often but schoolwork has been kicking my very flat butt so I made the executive decision of not allowing myself to write here until I finished writing there. This decision also included playing any sort of game, which means I have Uncharted 3 Waiting for me.

Alas, I have to wait one more week. I turned my fifth homework packet in yesterday and now I have to prep materials for next semester which means I won’t be free to really write here and play games there until Thanksgiving. UGGGHH. IS IT NEXT WEEK YET?

On the plus side, I finally finished reading 20 books for the semester. Are you proud?

Forever 21 + Hello Kitty = Dilemma

September 30, 2011 in Asians, Fashion, nerdalert, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

OMG YOU GUYS. Forever 21 has partnered up with Sanrio to create an exclusive Hello Kitty apparel line? WHAT? OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. This is major problem.

For one thing, I haven’t bought anything from Forever 21 since like…two years ago. First it was a New Year’s Resolution because I realized that the majority (like 99) of the clothes I was donating to Goodwill was the crappy tops and cardigans that I had bought from F21. They were so cheap that they either shrunk, changed shape, or got holes that I didn’t even care about getting rid of them. And as someone who plans to have a massive wardrobe of beautiful, expensive clothes in the future, this wasn’t working.

After that year, I just stopped shopping at F21. I would walk around and look for stuff, but coming back to their clothes was yucky. Things were either too trendy, too slutty or just too stupid.

And you know what’s even worse? I’M JAPANESE. This means wearing anything Hello Kitty would just be overkill. I might as well wear a rice paddy hat and stop pronouncing my R’s correctly. No, it doesn’t help that I already have a giant Hello Kitty bag and a Hello Kitty iPhone cover. Topping the outfit off with a Hello Kitty cardigan and Hello Kitty blouse would just make the universe implode.

So how am I supposed to enjoy this collection NOW? Life is so hard.

Oh, Silver Lake.

September 18, 2011 in Fashion, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

We drove through Silver Lake today because it’s none of your business and I came across the grossest hair-to-beard color combination ever. Sorry if you can’t tell because the photo is too grainy but he had long, bleach blonde hair and a ginger beard. This was one of the few times I had no shame in snapping a picture on my phone.

Silver Lake, I appreciate you but sometimes your people disgust me.

A Real Life Bobblehead?!?!

July 25, 2011 in Celebrity, Fashion, Thoughts by Moye | 2 comments

So…is it just me or does this model have an insanely large head? I’ve been staring at this dress online for quite a while, but only because I’ve been trying to figure out how this girl’s head to body ratio is physically possible. At first I thought it was just a really bad Photoshop job but then I realized that every single picture of her is like this.

But then I checked the other dresses…

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Open Letter To Models Everywhere

July 11, 2011 in Fashion by Moye | 2 comments

Please stop doing this pose everywhere. Yes, we saw it on America’s Top Model and Tyra Banks called it haute couture or something but now it just looks dumb. Like you’ve got bad posture or something. We get it. Your arms are skinny because you’ve been throwing up every single meal for the past 4 years but dear, the concave chest look doesn’t flatter any design. No one is going to see that dress and think “I want this dress so bad! I can’t wait to see what it looks like when I stand with my arms awkwardly at my hips as I push my chest inward because I do that ALL THE TIME.” It makes your body look weird and now that every model does it, you only look unoriginal and uninspiring.

Your cooperation would be much appreciated.

Thank you.

Monocle & Me

June 30, 2011 in Fashion by Moye | No comments

A coworker introduced me to Warby Parker, a new website with an array of hipster prescription glasses for men and women that you can order for only $95. I don’t wear glasses because I am physically superior than the rest of y’all four-eyed nerds but when I saw the monocle, I had to virtually try it on. What do you think? Should I buy?

(Okay, seriously? A monocle?? I took this whole site seriously until I saw that they were actually selling one. My head hurts from all the eye-rolling.)

“Little” Accents That Add Huge Style

June 10, 2011 in Fashion, omg, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Pier 1, you’ve read my mind. I’ve been searching for the perfect wall decor to help “accent” our house and my first thought was, “An enormous pair of flip flops, complete with a flower accessory would be simply amazing!” Not only would this piece make our house look like some beach loving giant stopped by to dry her sandals on our wall, but the rest of the house also look ridiculously small. You know how movie sets feature shorter doorways and shrink windows to heighten their lead actors? This would do the exact opposite.

The other appeal is that no one in their right mind actually hangs up their flip flops on the wall, so our future guests would think, “Wow! Moye is so crazy! She hangs shoes on the wall! Why?? She also must have HUGE FEET!” It’ll be great.

Guess what? Pier 1 has exactly this: a pair of 3′ long flip flops!!!! It looks like they’re no longer available though. Sadness.

Welcome Back to 1999!

April 26, 2011 in Asians, Fashion, Thoughts by Moye | 3 comments

OMG you guys. It’s like 1999 again, when I was barely 18 years old and all I wanted to do was move out of my parent’s house and live life all crazy and go to bars and smoke cigarettes…except all I did was spend most of my time online and trying to be all punk rock. I think I smoked a couple times secretly but it’s really pointless when you have no idea what you’re doing and you’re all alone and you have to wake up and go to school the next morning. L-A-M-E.

Anyway, the point of this post is that I’ve finally done something to my hair, aside from cutting my bangs all crooked. Of course, being almost 30 years old means that I’m a little too old to be doing crazy things like I used to in college but I thought a subtle bleached streak would be okay. My hair is the longest it’s ever been since elementary school and I’ve been enjoying my natural hair color for the past several years.

Now I’m feeling the quarter life crisis creeping up on me, so I’m trying to fend off any anxieties about aging uterusi, income tax brackets, mortgage loans and my entire future through these chunks of hair. How sad is that?

Let me tell you. Bleaching Asian hair requires quite a bit of hard work. I used a box of blonde bleach from the drugstore, which was covered in excessive warnings about NOT leaving the goop on your hair for over 60 minutes. I left this stuff on for at least two hours, and it still only came out to an orange-y blonde with no damage in sight (at least, not yet). Now I have to decide what color to go next. Just like old times!!!!11!!

Next up: bowl cut.

Reasons Why I Am Better Than Katy Perry

March 23, 2011 in Celebrity, Fashion by Moye | No comments

I don’t need to wear a wig that looks just like regular hair when stepping out of a hotel in London to greet the paparazzi.

I mean, seriously. Katy Perry has been sporting this same look of dark hair and blunt bags forever. I can see the need for a wig when she goes blue or pink for the red carpet but is it really necessary for something generic like this?

That being said, I am super happy that despite my old age, my hair is nice, thick and black. When I get ready to step out of a hotel to greet a horde of photographers and fans, I’ll be happy to toss my ponytail and show the world what a real scalp looks like.

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