Fashion

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ModCloth….Really?

February 4, 2011 in Fashion, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Occasionally (okay…a lot of times) I like to take a stroll through ModCloth to see what sort of amazingly adorable and cute and drool-worthy designs they offer so I can weep over how broke I am and daydream about what I would buy on a massive shopping spree.

Occasionally (okay…a lot of times) I see something on ModCloth that makes me do a double take, which in web surfing terms means squishing my eyebrows closer, putting my face up close to the computer and then right-clicking on the image to save it on my computer to lol at later. Like this “Top Hits Dress” which was apparently designed by some Danish person or company. Like, seriously, ModCloth? I’m all for supporting independent designers and whatnot but I think you have to draw the line at some stuff. Who in their right mind would think “Yes, I am looking for a sweater dress that draws direct attention to my groin. This would be perfect for days when I’m feeling bloated on my period or self-conscious about the little pouchy gut that numerous trips to the gym won’t ever get rid of, because that’s the way Nature works. Oh, and I’d also like some gold lame on it, so this area right below my waist literally SHINES with intrigue.”

It’s labeled as a “multi-colored abstract kangaroo pocket” but all I see is a giant open smiling mouth, as if this poor mannequin’s belly was grinning with joy and disbelief that someone would actually wear this.  Here’s a close-up, if you’re interested.

Also…this?

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Shoe Wars

September 7, 2010 in Fashion by Moye | 2 comments

I’m Asian which means that I take my shoes off every time I come home. I’m bossy which means that B has to do the same thing, too. The difference is that I have way more shoes than him, and I also don’t like wearing the same shoes twice in a row. Oh, and I kinda don’t really like cleaning up after myself, especially when it comes to shoes because all I really want is a giant walk-in shoe closet and I kinda refuse to cooperate in this whole small apartment lifestyle until I get one. Like that’s ever going to happen.

I can’t wait until Fall or Winter arrive; then this whole area would be covered in boots. Speaking of boots, I need more. BRB.

New Life Goal: NOT THIS SHOE

March 18, 2010 in Fashion, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Remember when I said I was going to make it my new life goal to buy myself a pair of Louboutins? Well, I’m nixing that idea…or at least, one of the shoes I want. The pink and gold ones look fabulous here but then I saw the following and kind of wanted to throw up…not because if the size but because even if they’re super awesome design wise, they’re not necessarily the most flattering on cankles (which I have).

You can see why for yourself after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

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New Life Goal: Shoes

February 17, 2010 in Fashion, Thoughts by Moye | 3 comments

So back in 2008, I proclaimed that my life goal was to save up enough money to buy myself a lovely Miu Miu bag. Seeing as how I kind of forgot about that goal and that I think that style is discontinued, I’m giving myself a new life goal: buying myself a pair of Louboutins.

LISTEN. I know. They’re really overpriced for a pair of shoes. But here’s the thing: I’ve lusted after these shoes for over 5 years now, way before everyone copied the red soles and Jennifer Lopez made some dumb song about them. Seriously, why would you name a song after a product name? Okay, so one exception would be the Suicide Machines because pop punks still rock out with the Vans shoes, right? And at least their song is about the actual shoes and not some lame relationship.

ANYWAY. I remember talking about them to my old bosses and they (who would always critique my daily outfits, which is when I learned you never mix brown with black) had no idea what I was talking about. I’m gonna buy a pair of these shoes. Somehow. Without B noticing (until I hobble around the apartment in them and/or shove them in his face).

It’s good to have a goal in your life, right?

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Unbreakable Vows of 2010

January 10, 2010 in Fashion, food, Thoughts by Moye | 4 comments

I know, I know. Blog posts about New Years Resolutions are awful, but how else are people going to share promises that they can’t keep? I think I did a good job with my 2009 resolutions. I did go to the gym multiple times a week (though I did take some breaks) and I did completely stop watching The Hills–which was easy, because everyone REALLY hates Speidi now so I’m not bombarded by their faces anymore, and the universe now includes Jersey Shore.

So here goes for 2010:

  • No more shopping at Forever 21 or H&M: As addicting and amazing as those stores can be, I can’t buy their clothes anymore. They’re too cheap, they’re ill fitting and they’re too fickle. I always end up donating the numerous items to Goodwill after several months because they stop looking good (or I keep getting fatter) and my closet can’t fit it all. So this is it. If I’m going to buy new clothes, then they have to be good quality. Or the same quality for 3 times the price, because let’s be honest. Anthropologie is like the same thing, right? They just like to make their customers think their clothes were made in some rustic converted barn factory with antique mason jar windows set in a field of sweet pea blossoms.
  • No more food photos: The whole world enjoys taking photos of their food. I understand. I’ve done it a billion times. It’s also nice to document the result of your hard labor in the kitchen, especially if they’re homemade cinnamon buns. But enough with the restaurant food pictures! Enough with all the random camera flashes that interrupt your meal with temporary blindness at the dinner table! And no one cares what kind of hotdog you got at the latest food truck.

    • For me, the tipping point on this decision was while we were trying to enjoy the food at Ludo Bites, where they had cleverly set up an actual light box for food bloggers to use. This meant a steady line of people moving back and forth from their table, carrying each dish to take a nice picture of it. This also meant there were probably 30 photos of the same exact dish showing up on 30 different foodie blogs later that night. COME ON NOW. What happened to just sitting down to enjoy the atmosphere, the conversation, and the food? You know, the taste? That thing you’re paying for? Let’s be clear. I support food blogging. But I don’t support it in my face while I’m trying to enjoy the food that they’re so excited to tell the world about.

    But I’m still allowed to take photos of my pies.

  • No Donuts: Today I made a bet with B that I would be able to NOT eat a donut for a whole year. I had just stuffed a delicious maple glazed donut in my mouth when I agreed to this bet, which could have led to making this stupid decision, but I know they’re unhealthy and I know I can feel my cheeks swell every time I eat one. So it’s only good if I cut these delicious fried treats completely out of my diet. I’m not quite sure if a bet counts as a resolution and I am still unclear on what prize I’ll win if I can keep this up for 12 months but I already have a feeling that 2010 is going to suck balls. :(

Why did I sign up for this!?

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Hey Delia*s

December 17, 2009 in Fashion, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Hey Delia*s! I know I’m like two decades older than your target demographic, but I just wanted to let you know that the above is NOT an aspirational look of “Hoodie Hotness”, as stated in your Style Gossip blog. And no, this does not convey a sense of “boyish charm”, as you claim to poor, clueless shoppers.

This is the look you wear when you’re too lazy to actually put on real clothes because you’re not planning to leave the house that day, or when you’re so depressed because some guy rejected you that all you do is sit in front of the TV, cry and eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s.

No, seriously. SERIOUSLY? Seriously. A gray sweatshirt with blue leggings? Does this hoodie also come with food stains? Are the ugly sneakers mandatory? I only ask because I think some teddy bear slippers would fit better with this “hotness”.

Also, who the HELL decided these were a good idea?? They may be popular in Paris, but not here in the Good Ol’ US of A.

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Seriously, Coach?

November 30, 2009 in Fashion, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Coach, listen. I admire your constant revolving styles in tune with the changing seasons and I’m kind of excited that you’re hopping on the sequined/bedazzled bandwagon but seriously, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

From what I can see, it’s not a giant teal feathered sequined purse with weird ribbon embellishments. And it’s not a poor blue bird whose head got caught inside a tangled and sparkly overpriced clutch. It’s actually two different bags artistically tied together with ribbons and chains that’s supposed to convey the holiday gift giving season.

Sorry, but all I see is a ugly, glittery mess. You know, Coach, if you want girls to buy your stuff, it might be good to make it clear on what exactly they should buy. Maybe you know, throw some Christmas tree graphics or like, an actual gift box so people know what message you’re trying to bring. Your products = holiday gifts. Not exotic birds strangled by ribbon tentacled sequin chain monsters.

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(500) Days of Summer Dresses

August 31, 2009 in Fashion by Moye | No comments

500days17

Yesterday we escaped the crazy gross wildfire heat by retreating into the Arclight for a couple hours to see (500) Days of Summer which everyone says is like the most romantic movie in the world, but while I thought it was cute, sometimes it tried too hard with its cute editing, gratuitous Brown mention, toile wallpaper and way too many sweater vests.

That said, I loved Zooey Deschanel’s wardrobe and I need this dress. Okay, I know every girl online is drooling over all the clothes she wore, but seriously, I need this dress. I NEED IT. You don’t understand. The day before, we were driving around Beverly Hills and I spied a lady wearing this same exact dress when I stopped at a red light. And all I thought was, I WANT THAT DRESS–enough that B offered to jump out of the car and tear it off of her, but then the light turned green and I had to keep going.

And then it shows up in the movie? See, it’s fate. But my Google-fu is failing me because I can’t figure out where this dress is from and I know it can’t be a one-of-a-kind vintage dress because that lady had one, too! Any ideas?

Anyway, if B ever divorces me, I’m going to write a tear-soaked screenplay about how he broke my heart and instead of cutesy sweater vests and architecture, the boy would be all about punk band t-shirts from high school and taxidermy squirrels.

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A Friendly Public Service Announcement

August 29, 2009 in Asians, Fashion by Moye | 7 comments

baby4

I don’t care what you think or what you say. This is exactly why the whole Lolita look does not work on real humans. Instead of looking elegant, childlike, innocent and Victorian, you look plain ridiculous. How can you even take yourself seriously when you look like this?? Is that a bonnet? WTF. This fashion is the least flattering style you can ever squeeze your full grown, adult body into, and you CHOSE to look like this?

I can’t even continue because I can’t stop rolling my eyes at the computer screen.

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Wanted: Model

August 13, 2009 in Fashion, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

hollister

So I was perusing the good old alumni database for some networking (or just snooping) and look what I found! Someone seriously posted their job as a model in a Hollister store–you know, those guys that stand shirtless in the front of the store?

Actually, I’m wrong. Models for Hollister are people who walk around, look relaxed, straighten the clothes on the shelves and ring the merchandise up. All the hard work goes on behind the scenes in the stock room. How do I know? I Googled it.

Regardless, congrats on graduating from a $40k/year university and finding a job during this economic recession. But why would anyone advertise this in the alumni networking database? Is it mean that I think this is hilarious?

Yes.

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