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Okay, I know I haven’t blogged in a while. I also hate it when people say that. Like, really, who cares. But I made a conscious effort to avoid writing here because I had to focus on homework and my plan was to start once the semester was over and before the next one started. But then since focusing on homework also meant avoiding all video games, I had to catch up on that. And then I had the worst Thanksgiving ever (including two ER visits) which really didn’t put me in the mood to write. And then other stuff. But now I’m back.

And since I have so much to catch up on, I’m going to procrastinate and talk about this WTF crap I found on Etsy. It’s Christmas shopping season which means I like to scour Etsy for all the things that I want which also means I search for random things like “chicken” which leads me to stuff like this.

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Here is a list of things that I want to eat but don’t want to publicly admit–oh wait. Oops.

Basically, it’s all the gross food that I either see online or in the grocery store and show B except that he makes his “that is so disgusting” face so i sadly either put it back on the shelf or quietly close the browser window.

1. Taco Bell’s Doritos Taco Shell

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Here is a list of the best food to stick your fingers into to eat.

1. Raspberries

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Bazaar Restaurant By Jose Andre

I need a drink. I don’t mean right now, like I’m an alcoholic or that I’m stressed or something. I mean that I need a drink. The problem is that I don’t really drink alcohol, but what are you supposed to do when a friend or an acquaintance wants to meet up over drinks or happy hour?

The problem is that I can’t drink. Alcohol is the least exciting thing in the whole universe. It doesn’t help that I’m kind of allergic to anything alcoholic, which means that imbibing in any sort of cocktail leads to me feeling gross, uncomfortable and kind of pukey instead of relaxed, drunk and happy. Being Asian isn’t great either, because half a beer will make my face turn red, feverish and even more unattractive. My sweet tooth ruins the taste of beer or liquor where even the most creative and blended type of cocktail can’t mask the unmistakable smell and flavor of alcohol.

This leads to a second problem: Happy Hour is not an hour of happiness for me. I’m all for talking and conversing and exchanging ideas and telling stories and cracking jokes, but it feels weird if I’m the only one not drinking in a bar. Not ordering alcohol makes things awkward for everyone, whether you’re the friend who suddenly feels self-conscious because they’re the ones drinking and start wondering if I’m okay (or trying to be sober, if they don’t know me that well) or the waitress/bartender who looks down upon me because not ordering alcohol means less sales and tips for them. Drinking means relaxing and I’m breaking the rule of sitting back and cracking open a cold one with my friends when I don’t do just that.

This leads to my final problem: I need a drink. Everyone has a go-to drink that they always order or feel like drinking at a bar, and I need one so I can pretend like I actually drink and can make things less uncomfortable. I need a drink that I can order like I drink it all the time, and can enjoy it without seeming like a douche. I need a drink that I can sip and know that my face won’t turn red, that I won’t feel feverish and that I can swallow without grimacing and chasing with a long swallow of cold, clean water. I need a drink that will make me like drinking.

Help?

 

The other night, I accidentally ate a giant piece of moldy naan. I don’t know why it took me to eat the entire thing to realize that it wasn’t fit for eating but my only excuse is that I was hungry and I had covered the bread with delicious raita from Trader Joe’s.

The last bite was absolutely disgusting because it tasted exactly like what fuzzy green mold should taste like which, in case you were interested, is a little earthy, fuzzy and strangely spicy. Weird. Anyway, the first thing I did was think about writing a will and then texting my next-of-kin. Except that it took him almost an hour to get back to me. NOT COOL AT ALL.

I know you guys were super worried about me that night, so I just wanted to let everyone know that I’m fine and am in stable condition.

TODAY IS DONUT DAY

EATING MY FIRST DONUT IN A YEAR.

OMG YOU GUYS, I DID IT. TODAY IS DONUT DAY AND YES, THIS DESERVES ALL CAPS.

I managed to go through a full 365 days without enjoying a delightful glazed treat made from dough. It was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through (especially when I was in New York and faced a Dunkin Donuts on every single city block), though I probably made up for it 100 fold with the amount of danishes, cinnamon rolls and muffins I stuffed in my face for the past 12 months.

Who cares! I brought a dozen yummy donuts to work, my friend brought another and even Lisa sent over a box! IT WAS A DONUTRAVAGANZA.

I’d like to thank everyone (except for B) for their ongoing support in this bet and for all the weird looks they gave me when I explained what was going on. I won’t say how many donuts I consumed today except that it was more than one and I will be trying to burn off the thousands of calories with a round of Dance Central. Goodnight.

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What happens when you visit your in-laws for a lovely week in Sonoma County and then they force you to slave away making Christmas yummies? Okay, that was a joke but with the holiday celebrations come the annual baking of sugar cookies and caramels. The latter happened the day we arrived, but somehow they turned out super sticky so Alicia and I got really tired of trying to cut, roll and wrap bite sized pieces in wax paper.

So we cheated and made one ginormous piece, which we hid at the bottom of the bowl. To be honest, this enormous piece also had pieces of foil stuck to it (that’s how sticky it was!) so it’s not like we were expecting anyone to actually eat it.

Homemade caramels are so delicious. Someone needs to invent a caramel flavored salt lick so I can slobber all over it every day. I’d have one for my desk and another in the car, and maybe one on the kitchen counter while I tried to cook.

Oh, Yoko

baby

Yesterday was my mother’s birthday. She’s old. Like so old that her baby pictures are completely in black and white and she’s not wearing any socks in them because socks weren’t even invented yet. Maybe that last part was a lie.

To celebrate my dear mother’s special day, she cooked us dinner. Yeah, I know. Usually it’s the other way around but I think she just wanted to have a nice meal at home, just like old times where we would sit around the table and everyone would make fun of me while I ate my feelings.

Tonight, I ate my feelings with a fresh batch of tonkatsu, nikujaga, onigiri and a slice of carrot cake (courtesy of me THANKYOUVERYMUCH). It was pretty much the best carrot cake ever, because I only put a little icing and no nuts or raisins because the problem with carrot cake is that it always has too much icing and too many raisins or nuts.

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It’s true! January 10th, 2011 is officially Donut Day, which marks the end of the year long bet to not eat a delicious donut for 365 days. That’s only four weeks away but the victory is so close that I can taste it (and it tastes like a yummy freshly fried maple bar). I’m already planning a celebration at my desk (since Donut Day falls on a Monday) where I’ll just sit and eat a dozen donuts (or at least until I throw up). I can’t wait. It will be glorious.

Why did I succumb to this stupid bet? One idea was for health reasons, but honestly, not being able to eat a donut meant just eating more slices of cheesecake and pie. I mean, come on. Having donuts in or out of my life had no affect on how much sugar I consumed every day. I heart sugar.

The other idea was to save money but who am I kidding? Donuts are like the cheapest (and most delicious) treats available. They’re like 50 cents, which is way cheaper than crying into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. Seriously. Do the math.

Another idea was for the prize, which we decided earlier, would be a fun trip (which could even count as our real “honeymoon” since we never took one in the first place) but now that we have a mortgage, I think it’s better to shelf that plan.

So what was the point? I’m not sure. Penance for some unknown sin so I could suffer through the worst year of my life?* I mean, it was pretty ridiculous. I had to sit through a whole tasting menu at the one and only French Laundry without being able to order Thomas Keller’s famous coffee-and-donut trio, I couldn’t savor the freshly made glazed donuts if we went to Tom Colicchio’s Craft Restaurant and I wasn’t even about to sample Wolfgang Puck’s chocolate donut holes with peanut butter at the company holiday party last night. So basically, I’m an idiot. Thank you.

If you’d like to be invited to my donut celebrations, just shoot me an email and I’ll figure something out. Donuts for everyone!

*Worst in terms of being able to enjoy a donut.

Pancetta - home-made uncured bacon

When you can have pancetta? This was my deep thought from the past week where I made vegetable soup with pancetta, a pizza topped with pancetta slices and a pancetta omelet. This week, I will have a heart attack.

[Photo courtesy of this guy because I don’t have any photos of pancetta.]

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