There are so many times when I’ve listened to the radio in the car and realized that the song playing isn’t for an expected commercial but an actual song. By an actual band. For an actual album. Not hocking a product. I’m pretty dumb to begin with but these moments always make me feel even worse. “Of course this is a real song,” I think to myself and then realize how brainwashed I’ve been by advertising–or pop culture, in general.

Or sometimes it’s the other way around. Not the part where I feel less dumb, but when I recognize a song in a commercial and then from then on, every time I hear it, I think of the product, company or movie trailer instead of the band. And how brainwashed is that? Even if that movie is long gone or the advertising campaign has been over for decades, I still think of what I could have bought with that song instead of the music itself.

Seeing as how it’s the weekend, I decided to compile my own list of songs that have been ruined by advertising (in one form or another). Feel free to add your own!

1. Thin Lizzy – “Boys Are Back In Town” = Toy Story 2

I can’t find the exact trailer for Toy Story 2 or maybe it was a radio commercial, but I can never hear this Thin Lizzy song without singing “the toys are back in town” and think about Buzz Lightyear. Also, I’ve never seen any Toy Story movie so I guess in this case, the advertising didn’t work all the way.

2. Bananarama – “Venus” = Gillette Venus Razor

What a horrible song to begin with and at least the product name matches the chorus but seriously, this is all I sing when I shave my legs. Which is rarely. Now you know.

3. The Lovin’ Spoonful – “Do You Believe In Magic” = McDonald’s

I used to sing this song all the time so imagine my shock when I heard it on the radio as an actual song with very different lyrics. I thought I was going crazy because this was before I could verify everything on Wikipedia.

4. The Walkmen – “We’ve Been Had” = Saturn Ion Commercial

Remember this song?? Remember this commercial? It really was an awesome commercial. And an awesome song. Now I can’t hear this song without thinking about cars. Lame.

5. Nick Drake – “Pink Moon” = Volkswagen

Is it sad that I didn’t know what this song was until I saw this commercial for a Volkswagen Cabriolet? I was also excited because the girl is wearing the same blue striped sweater that I had in college that I was totes obsessed with and wore out until I had massive holes in the sleeves. I wonder what happened to that sweater. It was totally worth the obsession.

6. Aretha Franklin – “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman” = Clairol Natural Instincts

Remember this commercial? Poor Aretha. Also, I just realized this ad features Debra Messing. Who knew. Thanks, YouTube!

7. Kanye West – “Power” = The Social Network

On the plus side, I don’t have to think about Kanye whenever I hear this song. I just have to think about how much more successful Mark Zuckerberg is than I will ever be, no matter how hard I try.

8. Bob Seger – “Like A Rock” = Chevy

This was one song that I honestly thought was just a jingle for Chevy but boy, was I wrong. And boy, did I not care.

9. Iggy Pop – “Lust For Life” = Royal Caribbean Cruise

This is just sad.

10. Bill Withers – “Lovely Day” = Gap

Don’t tell anyone but I didn’t know who Bill Withers was until I bought a pair of Gap khakis.

11. Donovan – “Mellow Yellow” = Gap…again!

Remember the lead singer from Phantom Planet? Remember when Gap had really awesome commercials? Whatever happened to both of them?

12. Brenda Lee – “I’m Sorry” = Bounty

I used to sing this all the time in elementary school. I’m sorry. Especially to you, Brenda Lee.

13. RJ2D – “Ghostwriter” – Banks

Okay, I can’t remember which banking commercial I heard this RJ2D song in but hey, it’s a great song for uh…banks. I guess.

14. Buffalo Springfield – “For What It’s Worth” = Forrest Gump

I swear to god that this song starts playing in my head every time I read something about the Vietnam War. Damn you, Tom Hanks.

15. Pete, Bjorn & John – “Young Folk” = Every pilot/trailer/montage from 2008-2009

Seriously.

moye: omg this is like…..the sum of everything i know about you

B: okay, without looking at it I’m going to guess that it’s a squirrel riding a cat while eating pizza and ice cream and listening to Cursed. In the background an alpaca flies by on a rainbow.

moye: almost

B: haha, pretty close

I know you’re all busy gagging over the extremely tanned mom, Patricia Krentcil, from New Jersey who was arrested for taking her five year old daughter to the tanning salon. I know, I know. OMG look at her skin, it’s like beef jerk, OMG how can she do this to herself, etc. etc. I get it. But can we talk about something more important?

Like how her daughter looks EXACTLY LIKE Ron Weasley? (Or Rupert Grint because Weasley is a fictional character, but whatever.)

Look! Even her profile! Someone send her to Hogwarts, stat! Maybe she can meet up with these kids.

This time, we didn’t have to appear on camera. All we had to do was hand over a key, show them where the potty was, go to work and return home to a beautifully decorated patio area. The table and two largest chairs are originally ours: we had the former made by a Craigslist carpenter who specialized in recycled carpentry and we happened across the latter at the Pasadena City College Flea Market by chance! I’m kinda excited that she used them because it made me fee like I wasn’t utterly hopeless when it came to interior (exterior?) decorating.

Unfortunately, it’s rained a bunch since them so I’ve had to take all the seat cushions. Now I’m waiting for summer to come so I can bring them back out and invite people over for tea. Right now, I just spend my weekends sweeping all the leaves around the chairs and making sure the plants stay alive.

How is it already past 8:00PM? I have a paper to write. :(

Spring is here! At least, I think it is. The weather has been so misleading lately that even the plants in our yard are confused. First warmth, then rain, then cold, then rain, then back to warm temps. Please make up your mind.

Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone out there. Even if you don’t have one, I hope you still enjoy all the yummy chocolates and flowers. At least, do it for me because I just lost my appetite after making this gif of B.

Also, check out my top five video game boyfriends of the year.

This is how to ruin a panoramic photograph of your beautiful Hawaiian surroundings: insert yourself as many times as possible so you look like a creepy ghost girl from a J-horror film…but with sunglasses. Click here for a bigger (worse) look.

Dreams really do come true, and not the nightmarish kind. Also, sometimes geeking out to the point of stalker-dom helps. Remember when I totally freaked out because an episode of Henry’s Kitchen was being filmed next door?

Well, instead of my neighbor issuing a restraining order against me, the opposite happened. A friend recognized a guy in the video who turned out to live next door, told him about me being obsessed with the series, then told me that she told him and that he told her that I could come on a shoot, and then he left me a note on my door about the shoot, and then I called him (before accidentally texting a complete stranger beforehand, which was totes embarrassing) and then he told me about the shoot and then I went to visit and got to be in the background of the very final episode of Henry’s Kitchen.

And that is how I finally met my neighbor. Yes, it took a mutual friend, a stalkerish blog post, a viral video series, one note, a wrong text message and a phone call. All the while, I could have just knocked on his front door but then I would have nothing to blog about.

OMG so how stupid do I look? B didn’t even notice my giant moon face when he first watched the episode, which is good because I would hate to think I ruined the shot, but I couldn’t stop grinning because the whole set was hilarious. I think everyone was either good friends, improv actors or both so the whole atmosphere was full of jokes and laughing and fake beer.

And I finally got to meet Henry! I’m sad that the web series is over but if there’s anything we learned from The Office or LOST, sometimes it’s good to end a show on a high note (and not drag things out forever and ever).

The end.

PS. The more I look at that screencap, the more embarrassed I get about my whole life.

I am supposed to be doing homework right now but instead I am looking for whales in our ocean view and wondering if I have to go pee. So here is a time-lapse video that B shot of the sun setting a couple nights ago. The island you see in the distance is Molokai and that bright thing on the left is called a “sun.”

Also, yesterday we drove down the famous Hana highway where we saw two mongooses (mongeese?), pretty scenery, lots of banana bread stands and an incredible number of ridiculously annoying drivers who decided that the speed limit was 10 MPH (not on the hairpin turns) and that slowing down to look at EVERY SINGLE waterfall was a must-do on their bucket list. I hate them.

I’m home! And I already forgot almost everything I learned and I am already behind on my homework. But this semester is going to be GREAT. I am going to do GREAT work and LOTS of it and MAKE PROGRESS and BE SMARTER with my time and STOP PROCRASTINATING and probably CRY A LOT in the meantime.

The most upsetting thing about leaving the world-as-I-know-it for 10 days is missing out on some really big things. Like, really big things. Like, things I wished the rest of the world-as-I-know-it would wait until I got home to enjoy it. So I made myself a list to feel better.

1. The birth of Blue Ivy Carter

2. The Golden Globes

3. Getting a free copy of Steve Jobs at work.

4. My new welly socks! (These are not the ones I got. Mine are pink and fleece. My calves are also a little too chunky to wear them with pants so I guess I’ll be wandering around puddles while bare-legged.)

5. The dramatic capture of the O.C. serial killer who was targeting homeless dudes. (Okay, so maybe it wasn’t that dramatic but I’m just glad they have a suspect in custody. Also, what kind of serial killer actually stabs their victim while other people are around? Come on now.)

6. CES 2012: Now I will never know what kind of cool and impractical technology will never be available to real consumers.

7. More “Shit ____ Says” (Actually, I’m kind of okay with missing out on this.)

8. Chipotle: Even though their food always makes my tummy hurt, I missed their chips, guacamole and bowls of cilantro rice.

Wait, Chipotle isn’t something that happened, though. It’s just a chain restaurant that I missed eating at 4 days a week. Nevermind. This list sucks.