Baby elephants are the new best thing ever! How do I purchase one of my own? Better yet, how do I become one in my next life?

1. I watch HGTV religiously.
2. I once admired a minivan.
3. Fake wood paneling on old station wagons don’t bother me anymore. In fact, I kinda like them.
4. I can still play Extreme’s “More Than Words” on the guitar.
5. I found a “Hits of the 90′s” playlist on Spotify and actually enjoyed listening to The Cranberries.
6. I’m officially in my thirties and I still hate exercising.
7. I did not enjoy reading the works of Grace Paley (so now I feel really dumb).
8. I’ve turned the car engine off before putting it in park way too many times to count.
9. I finished a whole box of Haagen-Dazs bars from Costco in less than a month.
10. I’ve never seen a single Jennifer Lawrence movie.
11. I still snore.
12. This past Sunday, I meant to get a lot of writing done but instead took a Benadryl for my allergies, which made me pass out for four hours and by the time I woke up, it was time to watch the Oscars, then eat dinner, and then watch the rest of the Oscars so I basically wasted an entire day of my life that I WILL NEVER GET BACK AHH I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH.
13. I laughed at one of Seth McFarlane’s jokes during the Oscars. (Fortunately, it was the one where he walked off stage so I don’t feel too bad.)
14. That I managed to get to number 14 on this list.
15. That I actually spent time thinking of things for this list instead of doing something productive.
16. I’ll stop now.
17. Wait, I can’t.
18. Help.
19. I’m fine. But wouldn’t it be nice if this list ended on a…
20. BAM!
And in case you don’t know where this Hercules gif is from, watch below.

I like to make lists in my head while driving and listening to the radio because it makes me feel like I’m somehow organized and on top of things–like that time I made a list of bands who sing their own band name in their songs. This time, I put together a list of songs that feature annoying children’s choirs, which I think is a really cheap gimmick to make songs sound more meaningful and heart-wrenching. Except when you’re Jay-Z. Or Alice Cooper.
(Little known fact: I like to sing the opening to The Rolling Stones’ song all the time when alone in the house.)
I also realized that a lot of songs that I thought included children singing actually don’t. I need to get my hearing checked. What?
1. Pink Floyd – Another Brick In The Wall
2. Jay-Z – Hard Knock Life
3. The Rolling Stones – Can’t Always Get What You Want
4. Trick Daddy – I’m A Thug
5. Gorillaz – Dirty Harry
6. The Smiths – Panic
7. Smog – No Dancing
8. Alice Cooper – School’s Out
Honorable Mention (b/c I can’t figure out if there are really kids singing at the end): My Chemical Romance – Black Parade
Did I miss anything?
If I had to pick one choreography to memorize and perform in front of a crowd, this number from Just Dance 3 would be choice #1-1,000,000.
A week ago, I came home from Oregon and I was like omg:

Then I realized that my thesis semester had officially started and I really needed to get my shit together and so I was like:

So then I was like, dammit! I’m going to work so hard! Starting NOW! And then I got sick AGAIN which NEVER happens which means I’m getting OLD and everything SUCKS. So I was like:

(In case it isn’t obvious, I’m the baby elephant on the left.)
Then I ate Jell-O and got better but that means now that I am still full of snot and can’t make sense of anything, so I’m like:

Goodnight.
We’re coming for you! Just give us a minute. Or two.

It is my second to last night in Oregon, which means my thesis semester for my MFA program is about to start, which means I’m about to bid farewell to any free moments (for REAL, this time), which means I need to get my act together, which means that all this discussion and listening-to-lectures about writing is going to be a complete waste of brain space until I actually sit down and do my proper share of writing.
But that can start when my plane lands back down in Southern California. Right?

Just kidding. There is no problem with Borderlands 2. The problem is when two of your friends get fixated on trying to reach the crackling fuse box at the top of the radio tower, which requires very precise climbing and jumping, which means the rest of us hang around for and accidentally set off rounds of enemy robots so you’re forced to fight them down on the ground with low shields, low health and low ammo until about 30 minutes later when they realize that hey, maybe this isn’t worth that Bad-ass Point and maybe there are better things to do in real life, like go to bed. That was about 30 minutes of my life that I’ll never get back.

Somehow I did it! After reading 40 books a year, I managed to up my reading list to 50 for 2012. 40 of them were my semester reading for grad school, but I’m happy that I managed to squeeze in an extra 10 books for fun. Or half of one. I kind of cheated with my 50th book since I started it on the 31st and finished it yesterday morning. Whatever. LEAVE ME ALONE.

It’s my official last day in Japan! We’ve been here for the past ten days for Tokyo Game Show and exploration, and like my last trip two years ago, where we got both spring and winter, we walked through two drastically different seasons. When we landed, the city was stuffy, hot, humid and sunny. Last night, it was deliciously chilly with thunderstorms. In between, we walked about a million miles in endless rain, cicada-filled heat, breezy pre-storm evenings and (as you can see above from our first night in Chiba), a lightning storm that flashed through the night sky across Tokyo Bay.
I slept with the window open last night (because that’s my thing, you know?) and I kept waking up every once in a while to the roar and chill of a crazy thunderstorm. Amazing! It was like having my own ambient-sounds-to-help-you-snooze CD playing but with the A/C on full blast.
Oh, wait. What did we actually do for the past 10 days? Here’s a list:


























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