Asians

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New Blog Ideas

January 12, 2009 in nerdalert, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Here are some ideas for blogs I’d like to but will probably never start, due to lack of ambition and material:

  • Cute Things Eating Sour Things
  • Co-workers Who Look Like Hitler
  • Asian8s.com (Just kidding. I have no idea what that blog would be about. Chinky numbers? I dunno.)
  • I Wish I Was Japanese (devoted to crazy and weirdo white people who wish they were Japanese–OMG GENIUS! No lack of material there!!)
  • Passive Aggressive Twitters (anonymous submissions of people’s snarky twitter updates)
  • My Mom Is Not A Fob But A Fourth Generation Asian American (zero stuff to post for this one. But it could apply to my dad’s side of the family)
  • Mongolian Birth Marks (where adults like me can meet other adults who still have their Mongolian birth mark on their butt. I can’t be the only one, right???)
  • Boring Blog Entries (a compilation of the worst blog entries by so-called writers who like to endlessly talk about themselves and you’re like WHO THE EFF CARES ABOUT THIS!? ARGGGGH. This entry does not apply. Jerks.)
  • Worst PostSecret Secrets (the worst, most embarrassing or emo-est PostSecret postcard of the week. You know, the ones where you’re like, who is this and where can I find him? Or like, holy crap. If you’re gonna tell everyone your secret, at least get your grammar right.)

Don’t steal any of these ideas. Or I’ll sue. Or get you deported. My sister now works for Homeland Security SO WATCH OUT.

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Panda Love

January 9, 2009 in Asians, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

pandanomnomnom1

I <3 the Internet cause I get to write about really stupid news stories for a well respected website and instead of everyone being like, “dude, WTF does this have to do with the Asian American diaspora and how is it relevant to our lives?” it’s totally okay cause the editor makes an awesome photo-illustration to accompany it.

I think I’ve dropped the 8Asians street cred down a couple points.

I just wish narwhals were Asian cause then I’d write about them all the time there.

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More Asians who can dance

March 14, 2008 in Asians, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

They start young.

That’s how we do it.

(This also applies to violin/piano lessons, math classes, and prepping for the SAT.)

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Akira + Leonardo DiCaprio = ?

February 21, 2008 in Asians, Celebrity, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

akira.jpg

“WB has met the anime,” according to the Hollywood Reporter this morning. Warner Brothers and Leonardo DiCaprio have announced that they will turn the world-famous manga and anime, Akira, intwo a two-part live-action feature film.

Very interesting. Funny enough, yesterday Morgana just pointed out the movie as another thing that white people liked, but she could have already read this news and I’m just really behind the times. But I don’t know how I feel about this.

The new story moves the action to “New Manhattan,” a city rebuilt by Japanese money. The studio is eyeing a summer 2009 release for the first movie. (link)

It’ll be an interesting trend to watch. First the horror movies were brought over to the US; does anyone else wonder if anime is next?

Here’s what I have a problem with: AintitCool is reporting that both Leonardo DiCaprio and Joseph Gordon Levitt are tapped to star in the movies. Hello, they’re both white? The main characters of Akira are JAPANESE and the story takes place in a post-apocalyptic TOKYO. They all have JAPANESE NAMES.

Does Hollywood really have to turn everything white? God damn.

(Yes, I understand the possible ramifications of trying to produce a big movie project with Asian faces, but when are people going to stop being scared or turned off by seeing some colored faces?Like Kevin Spacey’s new movie about the MIT students playing blackjack in Las Vegas. Yeah, that team in real life? Mostly Asian Americans. The movie? A bunch of white people, with maybe one token Asian nerd. Good going, folks. Give all the credit to the wrong people.)

PS. Check out my amazing Microsoft Paint skillz. Skillz with a Z!

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Huh?

February 15, 2008 in Asians, Celebrity, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Bai Ling has a blog????

Here I am in Albuquerque with my heart feeling sad, and my emotions are running through me like a wild river, tears come from the lake of my heart hurt my eyes.

What the fuck is this lady on?

Again, I’m ashamed to be Asian.

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Bai Ling does it again…

February 11, 2008 in Asians, Celebrity, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

bailing.jpg

Is it just me, or does Bai Ling look like she’s dressed up as a Vegas dealer standing behind a Blackjack table?

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I'm only posting this…

February 6, 2008 in Asians, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Because it has Asians in it. And I like it.

Real commercials for Jawbone bluetooth headsets.

Am I lame for never seeing Jawbone headsets before? I hate those bluetooth ear things anyways. Use your fucking hands and hold up the phone so you don’t look like a schizo.

But I still want one.

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White dude/asian girl couple alert

January 30, 2008 in Asians, Celebrity, Thoughts by Moye | Permalink

James Gandolfini recently proposed to his girlfriend, Deborah Lin.

So, to all the Asians out there–is this a win or a loss for us? You know, like, one less fug for our men (aka me) or goddammit, fat white dudes need to stop having fetishes?

(Just kidding. I don’t think he has a fetish. OR DOES HE? DUN DUN DUNNNNNN.)

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January 25, 2008 in Asians, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Look! Japanese people have a sense of humor!

I came across this video today, and thought it was a-mazing. I mean, how many times have people asked me if I ate sushi every day and if my mom knew how to make it?

I think they’re the same people who made this video, too. 

I need to start making my own “How-To” videos.

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Crash

January 22, 2008 in Asians, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

LA Can’t Drive is a pretty funny site that documents all the horrible drivers we come across in this stupid, horrible, over-populated city, complete with photographs and descriptions.

I also like checking the site to see if my car ever shows up on it, because sometimes I know I drive really badly. But I can’t help it if the rest of the roads are filled with bad drivers. Especially when it rains. LA, I hate you so much.

But last week’s post made me laugh for the photo above of a girl who parked her car up against another (while sitting in it).

You know what? I’m just going to say it. She was Asian. Yes, she was. And you know what? So am I, and that just pisses me off when I see yet another Asian person giving my ethnicity a bad rap. Hell, if I can’t say it in this blog, where can I say it?

SERIOUSLY. It’s so irritating when you come across a stupid driver straddling two lanes or driving below the speed limit, and when you turn around to take a look as you pass them, it’s some ajima with her face up against the wheel. Or some old Asian grandpa.

It’s like, COME ON. I know how much it sucks to be Asian. Trust me, I could write a book about it. But let’s try to keep all the other people from hating Asians and DRIVE BETTER. They already think that we can’t, so let’s PROVE THEM WRONG.

Who’s with me???

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