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I Just Puked.

March 25, 2010 in Thoughts by Moye | 3 comments

A little. No wait, a lot. But don’t worry, because I kept it all in my mouth and ate it for breakfast. Wait, that thought just made me puke some more.

I have a love/hate relationship with Etsy because some of the crap they sell on there is simply ridiculous and some of the pieces available for sale are simply amazing. But right now, this relationship is leaning heavily towards disgust because of this one store that not only sells cast resin jewelry containing her fingernails (called “human ivory”) but little teddy bears made out of her belly button lint.

Let me repeat that.

BELLY BUTTON LINT.

Oh, and her boyfriend’s armpit hair, if you’re specifically talking about the above piece.

Seriously, people. How much belly button lint do you get every day? Is it enough to build a miniature felt bear? I don’t get lint, but maybe that’s because I’m Asian and it’s all related to the dry/wet ear wax gene. But I know people who do and from what I hear, it’s not like they pick out an entire spool of lint every day to weave an afghan. But apparently this girl gets enough to make a lot of bears to sell online.

THIS. IS. DISGUSTING.

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The Cake Topper

August 24, 2009 in food by Moye | No comments

squirreltopper

There are always stupid details about weddings and party planning that I keep forgetting. You know, things like if I’m going to need a sweater or not, how many people can you bring to the courthouse or even something for the cake.

I mean, we have a cake and it’s going to be fabulous (and fabulously simple) but it only crossed my mind the other day that maybe we need something on top of it? I didn’t even include this in the budget for our flowers. I’m not even sure what the flowers are going to look like.

So maybe I’ll just order this one I found on Etsy. I mean, it’s perfect, right? Could our relationship be summed up in any other way? Or maybe we can just save the $40 and spend it on something else

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I WANT THIS DRESS

March 5, 2009 in Fashion, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

etsydress

Thinking about weddings and getting hitched without trying to fall into the wedding planning hell of picking themes (dinosaurs), colors (yellow?), locations (Sonoma?), flowers (ranunculus) is very, very difficult. Not only is the entire industry trying to suck you in with such beautiful photography and centerpieces, but I also have ADD when it comes to looking at things online. Like, OOOH PRETTY PICTURES *click* OOOHHH NICE SHOES *click* OOH SHOES *click* I NEED NEW SHOES, etc until I realize that I’m thinking about stuff to buy for myself and not necessarily plan some event in my life.

Keep in mind that we don’t even have a date (We’re sticking to seasons for now. It makes things easier. We only have four choices.) or a place or even an invite list–but all I want to do is stare at pretty white dresses–which leads to looking at non-traditional pretty white dresses–which takes me to pretty white bridesmaid dresses, which then becomes pretty bridesmaid dresses and finally pretty dresses…until I have to remind myself that I’m not a bridesmaid or maid of honor like last time. Ooops.

For instance, take this dress I’ve been seeing all over the place on Etsy, above by a designer named Holly Stalder. ME WANT RIGHT NOW! IN YELLOW ONLY!!!

Why can’t someone ELSE get married so I can be a bridesmaid and wear these dresses??? WHY!!?

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WTF Etsy?

November 3, 2008 in Fashion, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Remember earlier this year when I was perusing on Etsy and would find some of the most disturbing pieces for sale?

Well, this time, I present to you the earrings above: “Gothic Victorian Taxidermy Squirrel Feet Earrings,” which were sanitized, cleaned and lovingly pieced together by a store named “Loved To Death.”

Wow. And no thank you. I’d really hate to wearing these and feel tiny dead squirrel claws scraping the side of my face as I walk around.

*shudder*

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Etsy Schetsy

January 11, 2008 in Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Etsy is a very cool place to waste time and look for potential gifts (mainly for yourself), but sometimes, you come across things that cause you to think, WTF. IS THIS ART?

For example, would anyone be interested in purchasing a ceramic squirrel crying tears of satin ribbons?

Yeah. No thanks. But now I’m going to have nightmares.

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