I feel like Hollywood is messing around with me. First owls, and now Alpha & Omega, a new 3D adventure about a pair of wolves in the Canadian outback who must journey somewhere or other to rejoin the wolf pack and fall in love along the way.
Okay, so I can handle a wolf story for children. Animals in the outdoors can be cool. My dad forced me to read Jack London’s Call of the Wild when I was small and even though I have zero memory of what exactly that book is about (because it was one of those novels that I had zero interest in and just read the words without ingesting anything that was being said, like Robinson Crusoe–ugh worst book ever), I did appreciate the value of a story about an animal (like a wolf) in its natural habitat (like the woods), unlike some fantasy movies about animals (like owls) in an unnatural, stupid setting (magical clans with metal helmets).
What I can’t handle is the fact that the artwork for Alpha & Omega just scream FURRY. I’ve unfortunately seen my share of furry artwork and there’s something disturbing about the humanoid aspects of Alpha and Omega. Maybe it’s the fact that they made Alpha look like she has a swelling bosom, round eyes with eyelashes, her coquettish pose or…a full scalp of HUMAN-LIKE HAIR? It’s like a furry wet dream come true. I would show pictures of furry drawings to prove my point, but I really want to keep down my breakfast.
Or maybe the Internet just keeps ruining the real world for me. Yeah, it’s probably that.
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