Sometimes you have to take a moment in your life, rip open the toys you got from friends and play pretend. My Noble Six and Master Chief got a little carried away after a drunken joy ride in Nikole’s Ghost. Poor Spartan. Don’t drink and drive, folks. It’s deadly.

It’s rare that I ever do better than last place on Halo. Last night, however, was totally different. I totally kicked ass. Just between you and me, though, this isn’t really 100% accurate because I jumped on a giant mass drive whatever cannon first so I could steal all the big points. Don’t tell anyone. The moral of the story is that I still suck at video games and the moral to that story is if you tell anyone that I kind of cheated, I’ll cut your face.

OMG JETPACKS. AND SHIELD THINGS THAT KEEP YOU FROM GETTING SPLATTERED. AND CLOAKING. AND HAMMERS. And pianos in the background. I like pianos.