heidi montag

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Shhh…The Hills Are Back!

April 28, 2010 in Celebrity, omg by Moye | 1 comment

Tuesday nights are a mess for me. Not only is both Lost and Glee on, but now The Hills have started back up again and yes, I am admitting that I am back as an avid viewer. I know, this makes me hate myself. It’s one thing to set goals for yourself and fail to accomplish them, but it’s a whole ‘nother realm when you set a goal for yourself, accomplish it with such pride and then succumb back to the temptations of vapid Hollywood 20-somethings.

And honestly, it was the first 5 minutes of the last night’s episode that did it for me. I’m over Kristin Cavallari’s weird Valley girl accent, but watching Lo try to explain to Stephanie Pratt about what exactly Heidi did to her face was enough to seal the deal for me. It was like the producers were sending us a message: THIS IS IT, FOLKS. Can these characters get any more ridiculous? Yes. Heidi has completely plasticized her face and we’re going to prolong her discomfort as much as possible by refusing to reveal her face until the last moment, and then make her eat a hamburger. Amazing!

Apologies to B for picking up this dirty habit again, but I promise that this is the final season and after this, I will be able to move on with my life…to Pretty Wild. Am I the only one that watches this trainwreck?

Tags: heidi montag, omg, Plastic Surgery, Pretty Wild, the hills

Heidi Montag: Gross Then and Gross Now

April 21, 2010 in Thoughts by Moye | No comments

I know I mentioned it earlier, but the final season of The Hills starts in less than a week and though I promised myself to never watch another episode again, I feel like I have to witness the grotesque transformation of poor Heidi Montag. They don’t even look like the same person.

I mean, look at this. The picture on the left is from Season 1 in 2006, and the right is her new promotional photo for the upcoming episodes. Can you believe that? Okay, yeah, maybe she needed the boob job. The only similarity between the two photos (aside from the dress) is that Heidi, both then and now, is unattractive. At least you could blame bad lighting and photography for how she looks in 2006, but the one on the right? I thought plastic surgery was supposed to improve your face. What a pity.

Tags: heidi montag, Plastic Surgery, the hills

Reality Proposal

May 19, 2009 in Celebrity, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

fakehills

I understand that The Hills is the farthest thing from reality television, but I still like to watch and pretend that it’s real. Admit it, the show is filmed in a cool way, everyone (except for Spencer) is pretty and I always like to see how many more layers of make-up these young girls can slather on their skin for each new episode. I always commend the editors to make the shenanigans look real enough, even if you can tell when conversations are pieced together from different times, but last night was just lame.

If you’re going to set up Spencer’s “surprise” proposal to Heidi, don’t include a shot of Heidi talking about why they shouldn’t get married WHILE ALREADY WEARING THE ENGAGEMENT RING before cutting to a shot when he finally pulls out the canary yellow diamond for her.

This ring was huge enough to catch my eye while Heidi idiotically wavesd her hand around, which had me all confused because it clearly shows that she’s already wearing an engagement ring before Spencer “proposes”?

Then again, I hate it when people like to point out how fake this show is. So STFU, me.

Tags: engagement, engagement ring, fake, heidi montag, spencer pratt, the hills

Oh, Speidi…This has got to stop.

August 26, 2008 in Celebrity, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

It took me maybe like 5 minutes to finally watch this video. I hope it’s not because so many people are clamoring onto HeidiMontag.com and making her servers go crazy because that is NOT WHAT WE WANT FOR THESE PEOPLE, REMEMBER? We want them to experience failure, bankrupty, and loneliness. We want this horrid Hollywood couple to disappear forever for their overly self-promoting, nouveau riche, trashy classy lifestyles. This is not what fame and success is about. So why is everyone watching Heidi’s new video? STOP.

Here’s what I don’t get. I mean, sure, it’s brilliant that they have zero budget (even though they could easily sell her Hermes Birkin bag to not only fund new hair extensions for Heidi’s sister but also feed a small African village) and therefore, create a ironically “hip” video that glorifies the old 80′s, cheap, American Apparel-esque public-access channel look (though someone remind them that dressing in all American Apparel clothes is not cool anymore, only because I say so). Whoa, I lost where that sentence was going.

But here’s what I don’t understand. Is she really not lip-syncing to the song? What is she singing along to? Why is the video is such slow motion while the song continues to play? Does that defeat the purpose off a music video? I mean, we know that everyone lip-syncs the music in their videos, but this is just ridiculous. Is something wrong with my computer? My Internet connection? Why is this song still stuck in my head?

Tags: heidi, heidi montag, hollywood, korean music video, music video, overdosin', speidi, spencer, youtube

What happened?

April 3, 2008 in Celebrity, Fashion, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

The new season of The Hills started last week, as we all know. Don’t deny it. I know you’re watching. Yeah, you too.

All I want to know is, what happened to Heidi’s face?

Before:

Now:

And now now:

Tags: heidi montag, mtv, television, the hills

Whatever, V-Day

February 15, 2008 in Celebrity, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

So I saw this post over on the WOW Report, and almost threw up my breakfast. Except I didn’t eat breakfast (because breakfast makes you fat) so all that came up were some dry heaves and old bile.

Seriously, Speidi? Just GO AWAY ALREADY. I know that this shot was completely staged as Spencer wooed her aboard a yacht, and I know they hire the paparazzi that follows them around…but did you know HOW staged this was?

Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: heidi montag, paparazzi, spencer, the hills

It's official…

February 6, 2008 in Celebrity, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Heidi Montag is an idiot.

People Magazine reported that she’s thanking everyone…literally EVERYONE who watched her horrible video, including those anonymous haters (aka me) who love to snark.

Why?

I appreciate people taking time to write any kind of comment. Do you know how much effort it really takes to sit down and write a comment? I’ve never written a comment in my entire life… you really have to have a lot of passion and thought to write any comment, so thank you.

Hey, Heidi. You wanna know how much effort it takes to sit down and write a comment? Let me tell you. ZERO. It takes more effort for me to breathe or roll my eyes at every ridiculous question I have to deal with at work. Seriously. The Earth took more effort to create that cheap amethyst stone your boyfriend tried to pass off as a pink diamond in your fake engagement ring, than it did for me to tell you that your video sucked balls.

So really. Thank you for existing. Otherwise, I’d have to hate myself instead.

Tags: heidi montag, music video, spencer, the hills