hello kitty

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Hello Kitty Head

Valentine’s Day is AWESOME because it allows me to be a girl and talk about flowers and stuff like that. We celebrated the big day yesterday because we didn’t want to rush home from work and then fork over $100 for a prix fixe dinner menu. Also, when I found out that presents were involved, I wanted to open them ASAP.

And here’s what I got!! BEST GIFT EVER. I’ve been whining about a giant Hello Kitty bag since like OMG FOREVER. And you know how I feel about this amazing Sanrio character. I can’t wait to start using this so everyone can laugh at me in the office. I also got a grapefruit knife. Totally romantic, right?

In other news, I wrote about my favorite video game boyfriends for St. Valentine’s Day. Don’t worry, Kratos. You are still #1 in my heart.

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While most people visiting Japan go crazy over the toys and the souvenirs, I go crazy over the food. Well, I wasn’t super crazy about the traditional food because I was sick of the rice-fish-pickles-noodles combination by Day Three. I was more interest in the fun snacks and candy they have everywhere, from the basement food markets with tons of samples, all the little cafe and sandwich shops in the train stations, the pastry shops, creperies (which I sadly did not indulge in) and soft serve parfait options. Also, I couldn’t buy any clothes because I couldn’t fit in any of them. How wrong is that!? I’m not a giant. There were so many girls in Tokyo that were my size. What gives!?

Anyway, there was one non-food item that I did buy myself, which was a Hello Kitty omamori from a temple in Kyoto for good health, specifically made for my blood type (A). How could you go wrong? It was amazing and went perfectly well with my Marc by Marc Jacobs purse (and any outfit I would wear).

Like any of that matters anymore.  A week after I get home, I visit my grandma and show my omamori off (because it’s that adorable) and what does she do? She takes it, asks if it’s okay she can have it and I am forced to say yes, because whoever says no to their own grandmother is a heartless, cold person. RIGHT?  So in less than 3 minutes (and less than 7 days after I bought my special souvenier), it was out of my hand and lost somewhere in the clutter next to my grandmother’s bed. She’s probably going to give it away, too, because she loves to “gift” things to anyone who’s not related to her. Ugh ugh ugh ugh.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt this heartbroken. I came home that night with the saddest face, and it didn’t help that a certain someone laughed at me when he found out, or that my sister blamed me when I called her in a panic in the car ride home, or that my mother pointed out over the emergency long distance call that I’d probably never find another one again because when are we ever going to Kyoto again in the near future?

But I’m comforting myself knowing that my omamori was broken anyway, because of the following:

  • I got sick and threw up four (FOUR!) times the night after I bought it.
  • It made me forget our Sonicare toothbrush in Tokyo.
  • The little bell on the string made me sound like a cat anywhere I went.
  • Did I mention I barfed?? What kind of good health charm makes you barf within 24 hours?

Also, people who write mean blog entries about their grandmothers are not cold, heartless people. They are people with FEELINGS and strong attachments to material things, especially those made out of pink silk and Hello Kitty.

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An 11 hour flight is grueling, especially when the plane is delayed by four hours and the girl sitting in the window seat in your aisle won’t pull the shade down, so you’re sitting in perpetual daylight. But here’s what I occupied myself with:

  • Up in the Air is the perfect in-flight movie.
  • I’m too old for movies like The Princess and the Frog.
  • Don’t joke about your future children being annoyingly fussy with lazy eyes before boarding your flight, because that exact child will be sitting two rows in front of you for the next 11 hours. And will not stop crying.
  • It’s really hard to try to figure out which of the baby’s eye is wonky. I was convinced it was the right one because the left one kept staring around, but later one, I swear the wonky one was glaring at me.
  • When in doubt, always pick the Asian menu over the Western one for your in-flight meals.

But we’re here and it’s all cool and the first thing I see in the morning is this awesome Hello Kitty bus and the first thing I asked my mom was WHY WEREN’T WE ON IT.

I promised my mom that I wouldn’t fight with her for the next 10 days. Here we go.

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11 Days!

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11 more days! Can you believe that? Everything is pretty much done, but now I’m kicking myself for not finding these Hello Kitty carnations before putting in our final flower order. How awesome would it be if I had these everywhere?

Add this to my very long list of life regrets.

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I saw my grandma for the first time in ages (by my choice) this past weekend, and she gave me yet another box of Hello Kitty Lotte pies, which are just like bastardized moon pies. But lucky for me, I did not eat a single one (because that have turned into a moon pie binge) and instead, let people at work fight for them.

Here’s how I offered them, and they disappeared in about an hour. Who knew Hello Kitty could be so popular?

Btw, don’t think I’m horrible just because I don’t see my grandmother that much. She’s very needy but for all the wrong reasons. Gaaaaahhh.

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Alright, I get this new Hello Kitty theme. She’s in a summer paradise so therefore, she is nicely tan. But I mean…was the tan REALLY necessary? There’s something wrong about this. I mean, couldn’t they have given her some tan lines to make it look more realistic? Or maybe she’s supposed to be Polynesian? I don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact that she’s NOT white means that Hello Kitty is naturally supposed to be white (colour-wise)? But couldn’t you have had the same tropical style without giving her a tan skin color?

It just all reminds me about that controversial “Tourist Tater” statue that Rhode Island put up to celebrate their Hasbro history. The artist intended her Mr. Potato Head to look like a sunburnt tourist but instead made him look like he was wearing blackface. Well DUH. LOOK AT HIM. At least Hello Kitty is only a mellowy brown?

Also, B thinks it’s not Hello Kitty looking over her shoulder on a surf board, but a transgender version wearing a pink bowtie with her penis sticking out of her undies. Suuurree….

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goodbyekitty

You know I have a thing for cat costumes. As adorable as this one is, there’s something redundant about it, though I can’t quite figure it out.

Does anyone know if they sell this in human size? I really want one.

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kitty_charmmy.jpg

Right? Well, then, think about this. 

RIGHT?

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