mommy

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My mother is officially an Apple fangirl. Somehow she got her hands on a friend’s iPad and next thing I knew, she was asking for us to order her one. And then the next thing I knew, it came in the mail and the next, next thing I knew, we were spending our Tuesday night showing her how to use it. The cutest part was when she was blown away by the Netflix App and its ability to stream videos in her queue. We had some trouble with her Wi-fi connection the next morning, but my mommy seemed to have figured it out.

The only thing she hasn’t figured out is how to type on the keyboard or how to make sense in her emails, as you can see above. What the heck is a “you brain”? Thank god she hasn’t figured out how to find this “brog.” (That’s what she called it once.) Oh, mommy.

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email

I’m not quite sure what prompted my mother to send me this note, but I sure do appreciate it.

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My mom came back from Japan last week and though she promised to bring me money, sushi, cookies, candy and sweets, she instead gave me a bag of Ramune flavored Kit Kats. Um….yuck? I ate one and thought it tasted like toothpaste and wasn’t sure how I was going to finish the entire bag.

Fortunately all I had to do was bring it to work, where everyone just grabbed a piece without even asking what it was. These were their reactions:

“It’s like a happy Holocaust.”

“It tastes like bubblegum.”

“It’s like you’re happily eating bubblegum and then you get punched in the mouth by a wafer cookie.”

Well, there you go. I did not enjoy the Kit Kats but I know they were bought with love. Plus, she also brought me some odango which was the most delicious thing in the world.  I didn’t even tell B that I got them. I just ate them all. Yum!

The end.

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My mommy came back from Japan this week and fulfilled my craving for odango. She got 6 fresh mitarashi odango and I already ate half of them for breakfast. NOM NOM NOM.

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. I would say I love anything starchy that’s shaped into a ball, but that would lead to genitalia jokes. Honestly, these things are so cute, chewy and delicious that anyone who doesn’t like them at first sight is dead to me.

Then that sparked a random idea…Can I have a wedding cake made up of odango? Or what if they were given away as wedding favors?

Wow, dumbest idea ever.

The smart thing to do would be to order a cake-sized odango (on a giant stick) and then eat it all myself.

(I did ask for some cool flavored Kit Kats but she said they didn’t have any. Boo. MOMMY FAIL!!)

(Flickr credit)

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fob

OMG, my mom is a fob. She was never really one because she was always cool in some way, like never pushing us to go to med school and saying it was okay if we ended up as lesbians and sure, she has those giant plastic visors in her car that Korean moms wear all the time, but she still knew how to cook some damn good Italian food and other general unfobbyness. But now I’m coming to the conclusion that with old age comes increasing fobbyness. I swear like 5 years ago, I never would have gotten an email like this.

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Engrish 2.0

Someone needs to start a new Engrish website where you feature all the nonsensical text messages that Asian mommies send to their daughters.

For example, today I received:

“I have a bigin daughter.”

What?

Is she calling me fat?

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I guess the “O” and “P” keys are too close together for my mom. Here’s what I got today:

Hi! Mpye-chan
daddy needs hair cut. can you give him your hair cut place`s
information.           yoko

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