movies

You are currently browsing articles tagged movies.

The Servant = Yuckers

The Servant is a South Korean film based on an old folktale about the art of seduction. It’s also a really embarrassing movie poster to have on the wall while leaving a restaurant in Koreatown with your parents.

Listen, I get that this movie is about sex. But is it really necessary to have a woman doing the reverse cowgirl while some creepy guy watches behind a tree? Like, couldn’t you just have them holding hands or something?

Actually, it looks like this lady is popping an Asian squat to take a poop, while the guy is like, “Dude, WTF are you doing? I just washed these pants. You’re crazy, bitch.” And the guy in the back is like “I found the best hiding spot in the world. No one can see me.”

Whatever.

Tags: , ,

Alright, I’m hopping on the Inception bandwagon after seeing the film this weekend but at least I know it’s more than just a bandwagon and more like the we’re-right-and-you’re-an-idiot-if-you-don’t-like-this-movie-wagon. It reminded me of a good book, where all the different angles worked seamlessly together so you were engrossed in the storytelling on all levels. I’m super conscious of the writing, description styles, setting and dialogue in a book: if one aspect is off, then the whole book falls apart for me. On the other hand, if these all come together, I can turn pages without realizing that I’m actually reading something: instead, the story plays out in my head as if I’ve been completely absorbed into it.

The same works for this movie: script, plot, acting, dialogue, set, costumes and special effects. Also, anyone who thinks Avatar is a better movie gets punched in the nuts.

I always enjoy daydreaming about movies, imagining how characters and story lines would adapt if I had been there. Would I be as cool, calm and collected as the characters? How would I react in the same setting? What if Leonardo DiCaprio was hired to visit me in my dreams? Would the result be just as mind-blowing and fantastic?

That’s what I realized that my version of Inception would be the complete opposite. My dreams are pretty lame, whether they consist of either me being back in high school and panicking over getting to the right class in time, being back in college and panicking over moving out of the dorm rooms in time, or being in a mall and panicking that I can’t find a bathroom. I’m not even kidding.

Can you imagine a thriller movie based on one of these?

Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: ,

The trailer for the two-part Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was finally released to me, which I am not ashamed to admit (as someone who stood in line at midnight to buy the book) that it gave me chills and shivers and everything of that sort (except for peeing in my pants). Until I tried to tell B about it.

moye: oooh man
moye: harry potter is back! i just saw the trailer
moye: OH MAN
moye: EXPELLIARMUS!
B: petronus!
moye: PATRONUS
moye: omg.
B: everybody start your quiddiches because Harry Potter is Slitheren up to Patronus your XBox 360!
moye: oh my god
moye: you need a harry potter spellcheck

How can you NOT know how to spell Quidditch and Slytherin? Ugh.

Tags: , ,

What?? Nooooo!

I am never going to see The Happening EVER but this scene just cracks me up. Mark Wahlberg is a horrible actor. I’m glad we have YouTube to show it.

Tags: , , ,

harry_potter

We finally caught a screening of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Did I say we? I meant me, and dragged B along with me. It’s quite amusing listening to a non-fan/non-reader’s perspective on the movie. Especially all his questions about movie details that you wouldn’t understand unless you’ve seen the previous 5 movies or read all 7 books.

For example,

  • How come Dumbledore doesn’t need to speak to cast his spells?
  • Why do they need wands?
  • Where’s Gary Oldman? They should bring him back.
  • That was stupid that they had Harry end up with Weasel’s sister. He should have come after Hermaphrodite.
  • What was that thing he threw on Harry on the train? You know, the carpet that looked like the floor?

Yeah, that’s what B called the Cloak of Invisibility. A carpet that looked like the floor.

Then again, you should hear the questions I ask him about Angel or Buffy. Or X-Men.

Tags: , , ,


vimeo Direkt

Ugh. I don’t think I’ve ever writhed in such jealousy watching this video for behind the scenes of Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. Who’s that Asian girl? NO THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE ME!

Okay, not really. Knives is Chinese, and I am not. She’s also in high school, and though I may look it, I am not. I am also not an actress nor am I adorable, so let’s just leave it at that.

So what am I even talking about? Oh. I was a bit skeptical about the casting and movie at first, but it looks like it’s all coming together really well, and I can’t wait until it comes out.

Also, all I have to say is that wedding planning is stupid. But party planning is fun. Now if people would just respond to my emails….

Tags: , , ,

angels-demons-tsr-poster-is-full

I heard a radio spot for Angels & Demon that literally only said, “Critics say it’s BETTER than the Da Vinci Code. In theaters soon.”

Seriously? Knowing that the Da Vinci Code was a failure with critics and received a low 25% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, I don’t think dissing the first movie to promote the sequel is a good idea. And actually, even mentioning the Da Vinci Code makes me gag at the thought of sitting through Angels & Demons.

Then again, I hate Dan Brown’s writing with a passion. Aside from the fact that he lifted most of his research from another book, he also completely lacks any depth in character and plot development (btw, if you’re going to describe your lead character as Harrison Ford-esque, maybe don’t cast Tom Hanks to play him in the movie version?). Yes, his book was “fun” but what’s up with the 3 page chapters, each of which ended in a stupid cliff hanger?

Anyway, I definitely won’t be watching this movie. Thanks, advertising company, for reminding me where this film started from so I won’t watch it.

Also, I overheard a conversation between a group of school kids on the subway last week. One kid pointed out the A&D poster and said “That movie looks so good!” The Asian nerdy kid with glasses just gave him a scornful look and said “Are you kidding? That movie looks BORING.”

Asian High Five!!!

Tags: , , , ,

I kind of hate myself for wanting to watch this movie. Well, I feel like I basically saw the entire movie from the trailer. And not one but TWO reality tv stars?? Does Audrina Patridge turn into the freaky killer? (I never saw the original.) Why didn’t they cast Justin Bobby as the guy who cheats on her? Was that Carrie Fisher?? How massive is Rumer Willis’ chin?? Is it Friday yet?

Would eating a Melona bar for dinner be considered unhealthy?

Tags: , , ,

WHO AT SONY DECIDED TO TURN THE BEST CHILDREN’S PICTURE BOOK INTO A STUPID CG MOVIE WITH A DUMB STORYLINE?

I used to love this book. It always made me so hungry, especially because the citizens of Chewandswallow got to eat things like spaghetti and meatballs and pancakes all the time instead of miso soup, bean sprouts, rice and natto. But it was also amazing because there was never any explanation for their strange weather system: it just was, and when things got out of control, they sought a solution. There was no main character, no weird invention, no science behind it. Building a raft out of giant slices of white bread was normal.

Then again, my memory of the book is pretty fuzzy…but my gut feeling tells me that this movie is JUST WRONG.

Tags: , , ,

And didn’t smoke pot or want to eat at White Castle so much.

Okay, not really, but tell me how many other movies are out there that feature one boy with a sidekick on a crazy adventure to obtain a far-reaching goal?

Tags: , , ,

« Older entries