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Better Than The Prequel

May 15, 2009 in Celebrity, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

angels-demons-tsr-poster-is-full

I heard a radio spot for Angels & Demon that literally only said, “Critics say it’s BETTER than the Da Vinci Code. In theaters soon.”

Seriously? Knowing that the Da Vinci Code was a failure with critics and received a low 25% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, I don’t think dissing the first movie to promote the sequel is a good idea. And actually, even mentioning the Da Vinci Code makes me gag at the thought of sitting through Angels & Demons.

Then again, I hate Dan Brown’s writing with a passion. Aside from the fact that he lifted most of his research from another book, he also completely lacks any depth in character and plot development (btw, if you’re going to describe your lead character as Harrison Ford-esque, maybe don’t cast Tom Hanks to play him in the movie version?). Yes, his book was “fun” but what’s up with the 3 page chapters, each of which ended in a stupid cliff hanger?

Anyway, I definitely won’t be watching this movie. Thanks, advertising company, for reminding me where this film started from so I won’t watch it.

Also, I overheard a conversation between a group of school kids on the subway last week. One kid pointed out the A&D poster and said “That movie looks so good!” The Asian nerdy kid with glasses just gave him a scornful look and said “Are you kidding? That movie looks BORING.”

Asian High Five!!!

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Sorority Row Trailer

March 19, 2009 in Asians, Celebrity, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

I kind of hate myself for wanting to watch this movie. Well, I feel like I basically saw the entire movie from the trailer. And not one but TWO reality tv stars?? Does Audrina Patridge turn into the freaky killer? (I never saw the original.) Why didn’t they cast Justin Bobby as the guy who cheats on her? Was that Carrie Fisher?? How massive is Rumer Willis’ chin?? Is it Friday yet?

Would eating a Melona bar for dinner be considered unhealthy?

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MY CHILDHOOD IS OVER.

March 18, 2009 in Celebrity, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

WHO AT SONY DECIDED TO TURN THE BEST CHILDREN’S PICTURE BOOK INTO A STUPID CG MOVIE WITH A DUMB STORYLINE?

I used to love this book. It always made me so hungry, especially because the citizens of Chewandswallow got to eat things like spaghetti and meatballs and pancakes all the time instead of miso soup, bean sprouts, rice and natto. But it was also amazing because there was never any explanation for their strange weather system: it just was, and when things got out of control, they sought a solution. There was no main character, no weird invention, no science behind it. Building a raft out of giant slices of white bread was normal.

Then again, my memory of the book is pretty fuzzy…but my gut feeling tells me that this movie is JUST WRONG.

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If Harold & Kumar Were White

July 30, 2008 in Thoughts by Moye | No comments

And didn’t smoke pot or want to eat at White Castle so much.

Okay, not really, but tell me how many other movies are out there that feature one boy with a sidekick on a crazy adventure to obtain a far-reaching goal?

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Dark Knight – Deleted Scenes

July 18, 2008 in Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Speaking of the Dark Knight, did anyone else catch the deleted scenes?

One word: INTENSE.

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Watch Who Watches the Watchmen

July 17, 2008 in Celebrity, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Ooooh everyone’s sooooooooooo excited for Dark Knight, oooooooooooooh boring. Okay, so we’re going to see this on Sunday at the Cinnamonrama Dome and as I wasn’t a huge fan of Batman Begins, I won’t start gushing about this new sequel anytime soon.

I’m more excited to finally see the Watchmen trailer on a big screen. I just watched this version here and I must say that they put a lot of effort into updating the comic book’s overall look while keeping everything familiar for those rabid nerd fans.

Because that’s what I really care about.

Listen. I’m a girl. I read some comic books but not all. I read this one because everyone was reading it and I found it at my sister’s house in CT on a visit and decided to take a look. I know nothing about superheroes and while it was a very compelling story overall (especially when you find out who Rorschach is), I couldn’t get past the extremely EXTREMELY dated look.

LISTEN. I’m really superficial like that. I’m sorry, but if you look like you just stepped out of the 1980′s with a pair of pink day-glow tights that go up past your waist with a couple of high-top Reeboks and a side ponytail (complete with scrunchy, though those are a bit more 90′s), I am NOT going to take you seriously. You can spout as many avant-garde notions about the traditional superhero (I stole that line from Wikipedia) as you want, but I won’t give you a second of my time with that kind of outfit.

It’s like what Lisa says to me whenever I do something stupid at work, or what Brandon says to me when I fall flat on my face while trying to get dressed in the mornings: “Be Real” and “Keep Up.”

Watchmen, let’s be real and keep up.

PS. Is that Billy Corgan music on the trailer? REALLY? BILLY CORGAN?

PPS. How awesome is this Simpsons picture that I found?

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The Women

June 3, 2008 in Thoughts by Moye | No comments

The OTHER girl movie–or more like, those who are long over the Sex and the City phase–is The Women, a contemporary version of the famed Clare Booth Luce play that took place in the 40′s.

I caught the trailer over the weekend, as they played it before the SATC screening and I must say that I’m pretty darn excited about it. I can’t think of any other screenplay that includes solely female characters (the Vagina Monologues do not count), and I can’t really think of any other play that my all-girls high school was able to put one–not once, but twice.

And overall, I loved the story: it was a glamorous look into the old socialite world that revolved around marriage, husbands, infidelity and fashion–without a single male presence. There’s a nice resolution at the end, though it’s definitely not what today’s feminists would appreciate, but happy endings always make you feel good.

So I’m excited to see what changes have been made in this feature version. I already know that the character I played is gone, and I’m trying to figure out if Jada Pinkett Smith’s role is a lezzie or if it just looks that way because she’s on in real life.

PS. I also just have to add that Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Stupid Skulls was UTTERLY A WOT. I said that during the movie, I said that after the movie and I’m going to say it until I die. George Lucas, you continue to disappoint me. Please retire again.

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Harold & Kumar Get 2nd Place

April 28, 2008 in Celebrity, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

America clearly needs to get her (his?) priorities straight, because I was hoping the new Harold & Kumar movie would top the weekend box office, especially in the face of Tina Fey, whom you all know (or should know) that I despise.

Okay, wait. Despise is a strong word, and I don’t really feel that way about her. I just don’t care for her. And I don’t really want her to think that it’s okay to keep playing herself in every thing that she does. It’s not. I’m tired of it, and the universe revolves around me.

Anyway, Baby Mama was #1 and I am SO DISAPPOINTED in all of you stoners. I mean, maybe you spent all of your money on buying pot and couldn’t afford to go to the movie theater, but COME ON. Where’s the support for Asian American actors? Or…uh….marijuana??

But still, second place in the box office is pretty good. I think the first movie was like #9 when it opened 4 years ago (was it really 4 years??). So there. I guess you stoners didn’t really disappoint me that much.

This post really has no point. Sorry, it’s Monday.

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The Truth Is Out There…

April 16, 2008 in Uncategorized by Moye | No comments

At least, for a better title.

Creator/Director/Writer Chris Carter revealed the name of the highly anticipated (in my life) second X-Files movie today, which is…..dun dun dun…

The X-Files: I Want To Believe

UGH. Any fan and casual viewer would understand that this cames from the infamous poster that hung in Mulder’s basement office, illustrating his desire to believe in extra-terrestrial beings being responsible for kidnapping his sister. Wait, that makes no sense. Okay, so my X-phile days are long gone and my memories are a little rusty, but I remember trying to figure this poster out because it was clear to me that Mulder DID believe, and it was Scully who provided the skeptical POV. I also remember all the rabid fans being sad when they wanted to buy the poster and then realized that it was fake and just for the show.

Right, so my point is that this title is lame. Like, I get the whole tying-everything-together and the famous poster, etc etc…but this makes the film sound like a really horrible Lifetime movie, about a single mother searching for her kidnapped daughter while her ex-husband wants to kill her, and she “wants to believe” that everything will be okay. Oh, and her best friend is dying from breast cancer to bring more awareness about the disease.

Wait, what?

Due in theaters July 25, the movie will not deal with aliens or the intricate mythology about interaction between humans and extraterrestrials that the show built up over the years, Carter said.

Instead, it casts Mulder and Scully into a stand-alone, earth-bound story aimed at both serious “X-Files” fans and newcomers, he said.

What? Wait, so the “I Want To Believe” then stands for what? I mean, is this going to be a romantic comedy between Scully and Mulder, after 10 years worth of sexual tension?

Speaking of which, we’ve been watching the first season of X-Files for fun and wow, I really didn’t notice the sparks flying between the two characters AT ALL. I was too busy being scared.

Regardless, I am super excited for this movie. At first, I was skeptical (like Scully) about how the movie would be, since it’s been so long and they’ve already made the first feature, so what’s the point of the sequel? The show has long been gone, so let’s move on, folks. I always felt bad that Gillian Anderson never really got a more successful role afterwards. But now I’m like DUDE I WANT TO BELIEVE AND CAN’T WAIT FOR THIS.

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GARRGGHHH MY EYES

March 27, 2008 in Asians, Celebrity, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

THIS IS HORRIBLE. OH MY GOD.

Just like…the dialogue of each scene from the original are horrible awkward. I feel like the writers just watched the Korean version, translated each line word for word into English and called it a day. Yes, there are clearly some deviations from the original plot, but seeing classic scenes (aka the piano and the rose) translated into American cinema makes me cringe. Plus, Elisha Cuthbert looks more like a bipolar drunk than a charming, vivacious girl. I’m sure she is in real life, because for some reason, I have this undying hate for her.

NO NO NO NO NO. I’m never watching this movie. I mean, I wouldn’t have anyone to go with, but STILL. BOYCOTT MY SASSY GIRL.

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