shoes

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DIY Glitter Flats!

This past weekend, I drove down to visit Little Anko and his parents where we basically just watched him poop in his pants, gaze adoringly at his plastic mobile, eat donuts and watch television. It was awesome. The lazy days were also a perfect opportunity to bring out the crafting spirit, especially after reading about how to make your own glitter flats on We Are Not Martha. Seeing as how much I love things that sparkle (*ahem* B, Valentine’s Day is coming up very very soon) and how much I hate wearing heels, I thought I could take on this project pretty easily.

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These are my dad’s shoes. I don’t know why he put these bows on them but he thinks they’re cool and they’re for men. That’s what he said when I asked him. My mom even prayed at the temple for him to take them off, but he argued that it allows him to see and find his shoes better. Ugh.

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Remember when I said I was going to make it my new life goal to buy myself a pair of Louboutins? Well, I’m nixing that idea…or at least, one of the shoes I want. The pink and gold ones look fabulous here but then I saw the following and kind of wanted to throw up…not because if the size but because even if they’re super awesome design wise, they’re not necessarily the most flattering on cankles (which I have).

You can see why for yourself after the jump.

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So back in 2008, I proclaimed that my life goal was to save up enough money to buy myself a lovely Miu Miu bag. Seeing as how I kind of forgot about that goal and that I think that style is discontinued, I’m giving myself a new life goal: buying myself a pair of Louboutins.

LISTEN. I know. They’re really overpriced for a pair of shoes. But here’s the thing: I’ve lusted after these shoes for over 5 years now, way before everyone copied the red soles and Jennifer Lopez made some dumb song about them. Seriously, why would you name a song after a product name? Okay, so one exception would be the Suicide Machines because pop punks still rock out with the Vans shoes, right? And at least their song is about the actual shoes and not some lame relationship.

ANYWAY. I remember talking about them to my old bosses and they (who would always critique my daily outfits, which is when I learned you never mix brown with black) had no idea what I was talking about. I’m gonna buy a pair of these shoes. Somehow. Without B noticing (until I hobble around the apartment in them and/or shove them in his face).

It’s good to have a goal in your life, right?

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I present to you on this lovely Wednesday morning…the world’s ugliest and most disgusting looking shoes ever.

I first saw these in person at the Hollywood DSW and immediately sent a picture of it to my sister (after throwing up). I’m glad to see they’re also available online.

Ughhhh, look at that. Who in their right mind would think that this design would be appealing? Not only is the colour completely hideous, but it’s also made out of this plasticy stretchy material. I mean, does anyone really want to look like they just walked through a meadow of yucky swamp slime? Even worse, people around you could think you have some weird foot fungus growth. Or that you’re a hobbit (because hobbits don’t wear shoes, REMEMBER?).

UGGHHH I hate holey things, too. They gross me out. LOOK AT THOSE HOLES.

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