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The Cake Topper

August 24, 2009 in food by Moye | No comments

squirreltopper

There are always stupid details about weddings and party planning that I keep forgetting. You know, things like if I’m going to need a sweater or not, how many people can you bring to the courthouse or even something for the cake.

I mean, we have a cake and it’s going to be fabulous (and fabulously simple) but it only crossed my mind the other day that maybe we need something on top of it? I didn’t even include this in the budget for our flowers. I’m not even sure what the flowers are going to look like.

So maybe I’ll just order this one I found on Etsy. I mean, it’s perfect, right? Could our relationship be summed up in any other way? Or maybe we can just save the $40 and spend it on something else

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Squirrel Passing Through

April 23, 2009 in Thoughts by Moye | No comments

[flickr video=3466969142 show_info=true w=500 h=375]

Squirrel Passing Through, originally uploaded by Marmotto.

Yesterday was B’s 26th birthday. We celebrated with stupid waffles, presents (video above) and a tasting menu dinner at The Bazaar, where they served things like fancy Philly Cheesesteaks  and salted potatoes. Yum.

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Squirrelly Undypants

April 21, 2009 in Thoughts by Moye | No comments

It’s B’s birthday in a couple days, but he’s been lucky enough to open up his presents early–you know, like his squirrel butt from eBay and the package of smashed bananas from Trader Joe’s. Today, his mother sent him a pair of Squirrel Underpants and though they were already in a cute little display, he just HAD to take them out to see if they fit our still unnamed butt. This ended up being more difficult than we expected, so I just taped them onto the wall instead.

Thoughts?

I think we need another pair for the other side, just to balance things out. Or maybe a squirrel bra?

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Squirrel Butt Package

April 15, 2009 in Thoughts by Moye | No comments

l1010636

You see this?

This is what came in the mail yesterday.

It’s a mounted squirrel butt that we purchased off of eBay and I was too grossed out to take it out, because YUCK, there was a gross dead squirrel tail sticking straight out!! UGH.

I literally ran away from the package screaming when I saw it sticking out. And left it there until someone could come home and touch it.

GROSS. Now we just have to figure out where to hang it, preferably in the kitchen so it’ll stop me from eating stale Girl Scout cookies.

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Squirrel Butts Galore

March 31, 2009 in Thoughts by Moye | No comments

b6e0_1This squirrel butt may seem like the weirdest thing ever, but it looks like the perfect birthday present for B, who will be turning 13 26 in a couple weeks.

I found this genuine squirrel butt taxidermy (is taxidermied not a real word?) mounted on an oak panel on eBay and I hope no one else bids on it before the auction ends, because there is no way I am going to trap, kill, skin and stuff a squirrel butt on my own.

Here are our ideas of where to put this:

  • Face level in front of the toilet, so you have something to contemplate while you poop.
  • Over our door keyhole. Somehow we’d engineer a piece of lens into the butthole so we could peer out of it.
  • On the fridge so I can use it as my new thinspiration. Trying not to throw up while reaching for more food should keep me from overeating.
  • Above the TV. I don’t know why? But maybe?

Any other ideas?

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Squirrel P33N

January 27, 2009 in Thoughts by Moye | No comments

squirrelhook

Our 3 year anniversary is coming up soon, and I was lucky enough to have it ALMOST coincide with Valentine’s Day (of which I am a big fan) cause this means I get not one but TWO cheesy celebrations in a single week, even if it’s mostly one-sided coming from me, because I am a giant vagina.

However, do I still have to buy the significant other a present even if I’m a girl?

I’m not sure, but I’m coming up with some back-up options in case the day arrives and he gets upset that I don’t have anything for him…like this cast iron squirrel hook from his favorite online store. Is it just me, or do those acorn hooks look like a penises?

Hmm…

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WTF Etsy?

November 3, 2008 in Fashion, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Remember earlier this year when I was perusing on Etsy and would find some of the most disturbing pieces for sale?

Well, this time, I present to you the earrings above: “Gothic Victorian Taxidermy Squirrel Feet Earrings,” which were sanitized, cleaned and lovingly pieced together by a store named “Loved To Death.”

Wow. And no thank you. I’d really hate to wearing these and feel tiny dead squirrel claws scraping the side of my face as I walk around.

*shudder*

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Hello.

August 17, 2008 in Thoughts by Moye | No comments

It has come to my attention that I haven’t blogged that much lately. My sincere apologies. It’s hard when real life gets in the way, especially when that real life requires you to actually pay attention to real life, especially when you start a new job, and ESPECIALLY when that new job is for the Internet and requires to you to pay attention to things in real life for things on the Internet. Confusing, right?

But it’s all good. Because apparently everyone I now work with has a blog of their own, so my competition has seriously gone like WAY UP and I feel the need to actually brainstorm, think and proof-read my entries. In other words, this sucks.

So to make it up to all you 3 readers (actually, only one–hi Lisa, because she’s the only one to directly email me. Actually, that’s not true. She also emailed our other friend, so I guess I take it all back) I present to you a nice photo of a disgusting tree rat…squirrel.

B and I drove down to San Diego last weekend to visit my brother-in-law and he took us to this seal cove (which I’ve never been to…thanks, Jenny. I thought you showed me all that SD had to offer), and we saw this sea lion being captured by Sea World people (but no seals) and apparently, the squirrel infestation along the beach has gotten out of control. Please, people. Stop feeding the squirrels. Why? Because they will probably bite you in your sleep and suck your blood out. Gross.

I mean, look. This disgusting squirrel actually failed to RUN AWAY when I tried to kick it. WTF, right? Instead, it posed for me and then slid down the sand dune on its fat belly. Gross.

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Etsy Schetsy

January 11, 2008 in Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Etsy is a very cool place to waste time and look for potential gifts (mainly for yourself), but sometimes, you come across things that cause you to think, WTF. IS THIS ART?

For example, would anyone be interested in purchasing a ceramic squirrel crying tears of satin ribbons?

Yeah. No thanks. But now I’m going to have nightmares.

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