This is what happens when you discover the perfectly polished wooden floors in your mom-in-laws house. New resolution: more videos, less photos.
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I don’t care what you think or what you say. This is exactly why the whole Lolita look does not work on real humans. Instead of looking elegant, childlike, innocent and Victorian, you look plain ridiculous. How can you even take yourself seriously when you look like this?? Is that a bonnet? WTF. This fashion is the least flattering style you can ever squeeze your full grown, adult body into, and you CHOSE to look like this?
I can’t even continue because I can’t stop rolling my eyes at the computer screen.
Tags: gothic lolita, Lolita fashion, stupid
Hey, TSA. I know you’re responsible for protecting our friendly skies, but next time, maybe you SHOULDN’T put your little security sticker over the destination airport on the luggage tag?
Because when you do, the baggage guys can’t read where it’s supposed to go and our bag gets sent to places like Las Vegas instead of Los Angeles, so we’re left without our stuff for 24 hours.
Jerks.
(At least, this is what I think happened. I always assume they use some barcode reader to track this thing, but how else could one of our two bags get lost?)
I need to start writing down all the various life lessons I learn every day so I stop making the same mistakes. Hopefully posting them on here will force me to remember them and maybe help you guys out as well. For example, yesterday I re-learned that yogurt from Trader Joe’s is fucking disgusting. Their chips and dip are delicious, and I like how they bag their vegetables, but wtf kind of cows do they milk to make their yogurt?? The tub of vanilla yogurt had the soppiest texture and tasted like vanilla soap or something. UGH. I know I bought this same yogurt like 3 years ago and vowed to never buy it again, but look at me now. I guess this is what happens when you have the time to go grocery shopping in the middle of the afternoon.
Today I re-learned that stupid people on the Internet have zero sense of humor. I gathered all the uneaten new snacks in my kitchen that I know I won’t [have time to] eat to offer them up on Freecycle as an alternative to throwing them out. I got numerous cute responses asking for free food, made arrangements with one and then responded to everyone that they were no longer available and that everyone seems really hungry, haha. Someone just got offended by that remark, as if I made a fat joke or something. WTF. How is that offensive? Did I call you fat? Did I burn a cross in your front yard or send everyone a photo of a dead baby? Or did you somehow interpret oozing sarcasm out of my harmless little note, which you shouldn’t even be offended by because hello, it’s the Internet?
Guess what: I could have said a million offensive things, especially about how you still have a lame Yahoo email address, but I WON’T. Because YOU WON’T GET IT.
Lesson re-learned.
See this thing here? It’s a waffle. And you can kind of tell from the measly size of it that it’s stupid. But there’s more stupidity behind this waffle than meets the eye. Or maybe it’s a stupid waffle iron?
We decided to buy a waffle iron last month since B had a leftover Macy’s gift card to use, but despite reading the instructions carefully and attempting to make delicious waffles THREE TIMES with THREE DIFFERENT RECIPES, it still wouldn’t work properly. The waffles would cook perfectly on the outside, but not enough inside so that when you’d open the iron, it would just split in two. ANNOYING.
I thought it was the recipes I was picking and I was even losing faith in Mark Bittman (who had an easy overnight yeast waffle recipe that I wanted to impress my high school friends with) but I had no idea what we were doing wrong. Why was it sticking and splitting in half?? Whyyyyyy???
It turns out that nonstick spray makes it work perfectly, hence the photo above. It was almost retarded about how easily the waffle came out, without the stress and fuss and poking all previous ones caused.
And before you guys all go “DUH you’re such an idiot,” here’s the problem: the instruction manual specifically stated to not use nonstick spray. This doesn’t make sense, since a quick coat of PAM made the final waffle turn out so perfectly? Ugh.
Fuck you, Bella Cucina, for your conflicting instruction manuals that have already ruined three breakfasts. I’m Pamming the shit out of this iron from now on, whether I’m using it or not.
Tags: bella cucina waffle iron, Cooking, stupid, waffle, waffle iron
You may feel sorry for yourself, but at least you’re not this kid.
You can thank me later.
Tags: fail, satanist star, star of david, stupid
I’m pretty sure THIS is real.
THIS is just wrong. I feel my thousands of samurai ancestors turning over in their graves. Except that I don’t think they were buried but most likely cremated with their bones all piled up in a little ceramic jar or something like that. And they aren’t samurais, but more like poor peasants.
I wish THIS was around when I was writing my senior thesis. I wouldn’t even have written one. I’d just put the URL on a piece of paper, bound it at Kinko’s and then turned it in.
THIS is why I like to make sure people know the difference between kawaii (cute) and kowaii kowai (scary).
THIS makes me miss the Japanese classes at Brown, which were always so much fun. Granted there were always a couple people who were into anime and one of them asked me out on a date, but most of them were just other Asians trying to pick up more Asian languages. I think I met most of my good friends from those classes (I’m talking about YOU, Lee-san and Yoo-san).
Tags: anime, fetish, japan, otaku, reita-chan, stupid, youtube
Today is the official Talk Like A Pirate Day.
This is the dumbest day in the universe. When will people understand that Pirates are like soooo 2003?
I’d rather have Talk Like A Ninja Day cause as much as I hate ninjas (but not as much as pirates), at least people should STFU.
Cause ninjas don’t talk. Get it?
Do I really have to explain EVERY SINGLE JOKE to you? Geez.
Tags: ninjas, stupid, talk like a pirate
Listen. I know all about trying to prevent spam postings through new security processes online, especially with Craigslist but sometimes it just ends up being ridiculous.
Case in point: we just moved into a new unit and therefore have an enormous amount of crap to give away for free. I would try to sell some of it, but seriously, who would pay money for some used shoes? Let’s just find some desperate people online to haul the shit away.
I mean, I would LIKE to find desperate people but Craigslist is making is SUPER FUCKING HARD TO POST THINGS!
I mean, LOOK. (click to enlarge, if you couldn’t figure that out.)
Yeah yeah yeah, type in the weird words that pop up to confirm your valid post. I get it. But WTF? I can’t even read what the letters are. This is ridiculous. It took me literally 3 more tries before I finally got a word that I could decipher without the squiggly lines distorting everything.
So stupid. Ugh. Internet, I hate you sometimes.
Tags: craigslist, internet, security, stupid
But I’m not as dumb as this girl.
Things are getting a little stressful as the day of our CRAZIAN art show draws closer, which means that the artwork has slowly been trickling through and occasionally, this means I have to help figure out the shipping logistics, since FedEx isn’t always the best option, which means I have to talk to strangers over the phone.
Today, I was trying to set up the shipment for one artist located in New York, and my entire conversation with one company kept going round and round in circles. First off, before anything, she wanted my name, contact info and my zip code. That’s understandable. Then, after explaining what I wanted to do (have something from NY shipped to me) and without her asking for any details, she asked me for the destination zip code (me) and then quoted me $69.30 for the whole shipment.
WOW. Really? I asked her like 5 times. “Do you mean six hundred and nine? Or sixty-nine?”
“69.30. SIXTY-NINE DOLLARS AND THIRTY CENTS. SIXTY-NINE.”
“$69?”
“SIXTY NINE DOLLARS.”
“Wow. Okay. This is from New York to Los Angeles for a 60lb box?”
Pause.
“Oh, no, wait, it’ll be more than that.”
As I suspected, she quoted me the rate of delivering this large package from the zip code 90028 to the zip code…90028.
Wouldn’t you think that as a member of a global shipping company, you would realize that no one in their right mind would plan to use their services (FROM AROUND THE WORLD) to send a package within the same neighborhood?
ARGGGH WASTE OF TIME.
Tags: stupid
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