OMG JETPACKS. AND SHIELD THINGS THAT KEEP YOU FROM GETTING SPLATTERED. AND CLOAKING. AND HAMMERS. And pianos in the background. I like pianos.

So the competition continues. Wait, let me rephrase that.

So my victories in the Brain Age 1 & 2 games continues, as I keep kicking B’s ass in all the training and tests. Okay, that’s a little bit of a lie because he does have the top scores in some of the tests but that’s because I haven’t really had time to keep up, what with all the art shows I’m curating and all. He, though, has nothing to do after work.

The best part of the game is really the drawing and communicating bits, cause it really reveals where our relationship needs the most work. In other words, our drawing skills are perfectly fine (even though his are a little shaky) but we definitely need to work on thinking along the same wavelength.

Like our sharks! We both focus on the sharp shark jaws, but where does the “holy crap” come in?

And check this out.

We each had to draw a swordfish.

Apparently, B did not notice the “a” before “swordfish” and proceeded to visualize the infamous (actually, the only) scene from the awful John Travolta movie. Even though the game asked you to draw “a swordfish” as in the FISH with the SWORD-LIKE NOSE.

Next, we had “paramecium,” which I thought was easy because it always reminded me of those Far Side comics with his amoeba characters, and hello, we learned this stuff in 7th grade biology? We should all remember our adorable single-celled creatures, as it reminds us of the origins of life. Notice how I even included mitochondria, a nucleus and lysosomes. Damn, I’m smart.

According to my boyfriend, this group of unicellular ciliate protozoa are just another word for passing gas.

Actually, I’m taking everything I said about communication back. Someone needs to LEARN HOW TO READ and FOLLOW THE RULES. And it’s NOT ME.

Ridiculous.

No really, they haven’t. I mean, look. B and I were both supposed to draw Florida in our latest Brain Age game, and while mine clearly looks like that Disney World state where they don’t know how to properly vote, Brandon thinks we live in California, which is also full of old people.

What? This makes no sense.

And how about this?

The Brain Age head asked us to draw a truck. A TRUCK. Apparently my boyfriend has the shakes when he draws. “Vroom”? What are you, five years old?

He’s also a perv. Check out this connect-the-dots activity, where we can (clearly) connect the dots to draw a picture. Like what the Ancients used to do while star-gazing. See mine? I saw a pretty butterfly. Sure, it looks a little moth-y but that’s only because they didn’t give me enough dots.

What did Brandon do? Oh, yes. He drew a penis entering a vagina. Actually, I thought it was a vagina but it’s really a drop of liquid. GROSS.

SO.

DISGUSTING.

Who cares, though, because I totally won. 20 is the youngest age your brain can get so IN YO FACE!

Hey, so what did you guys do this weekend? Nothing much? Yeah, same here.

Except yesterday, between 11:00am to 4:30pm. We finally took on and accomplished the Endless Set List (on hard!) on Rock Band. Yeaaaaaah bitches! 58 friggin songs on guitar and drums in a row–with only one break, where we sliced some cheese and crackers to munch on. Very classy, I must say.

Now all I have to do is learn how to play on Expert and then we can earn our platinum status.

If you think I’m remotely cool or interesting or if I work with you, then I sincerely warn you to not read the following post.

If your name is Steve, Anne or Ted, then go ahead and read this entry and feel free to make fun of me next we go eat some ramen.

If your name is Kevin, then wow, what are you doing looking at this site? Seriously, where have you been?

If your name is Moye, then seriously, I have never been so embarrassed to write a blog entry before in my entire life.

Please look at the stats below.

Yes, I’m proud to say that one afternoon, Brandon and I found ourselves in the middle of an intense Team BR battle on Construct, and were pretty much getting slaughtered. Well, that’s normal for me but then I realized that WHAT THE HELL. We were the only people left on our team, so this was basically like one hot nerd couple vs. four other stinky nerds. What do we do? Totally pair up and KICK SERIOUS ASS.

Yes, we won. Yes, we got 3 more kills than they did at the very last minute. Yes, we totally rule.

Then I failed on Hard playing Stone Temple Pilot’s Vasoline on Rock Band, but that’s another embarrassing entry.

If there’s one thing I admire, it’s girls who play video games.

Wait, let me rephrase that.

I admire girls who play video games just as well as I do.

But if you’re better than me (which probably accounts for like 85% of all female gamers, including 9 years olds with their pink DS Lites), then I hate you and get all bitchy. Like, whatever, you’re probably fat and pimply and lack complete social skills. And guys only like you cause they might actually have a chance with you, unlike ME. *flips blonde hair over shoulder* Whatevs, bitches. (And then I go back to my horrible life that consists of being slaves to full grown adults who need help when it comes to picking up their Starbucks coffee or papers from the printer. Let’s see who the loser is now, nerds.)

Anyway, I’ve been stalking “TipperQueen,” who apparently is the reigning Guitar Hero champion and recently got to play onstage with Slash. (Sidenote: appearing on stage with a rock legend = cool, unless you’re holding a lame plastic guitar controller in your arms, while he plays the real instrument). Still, pretty cool. Like her website, where she states:

Many people assume I can’t really play the games I’m into because I’m a girl, but it’s those people holding back tears when I end up on top.

Hahaha. I wish I was a guy, cause I’d say something like, “yeah, on top OF MY PENIS.” Anyway, that was uncalled for. And I am not a guy. Plus, I agree. Many people assume I can’t really play the games I’m into because I’m a girl. The thing is that they’re right. I totally suck. Seriously, it’s these two things called “my ovaries” that are keeping me back from achieving real gamer status.

Anyway, being the superficial person that I am, my only question to this girl is: what is up with the photoshopping of the eyeliner, lady? You’re not fooling anyone. I swear to god, someone or this girl has digitally added some awkward black eyeliner onto almost every single photo on her site.

And if you don’t believe me, look at this. And this. Or this.

If you’re going to flaunt your femininity with your video game celebrity status………slowly drop the eyeliner pencil (or in this case, the mouse) and flaunt your natural features. C’mon now. You’re a pretty girl. You can do it.