Occasionally (okay…a lot of times) I like to take a stroll through ModCloth to see what sort of amazingly adorable and cute and drool-worthy designs they offer so I can weep over how broke I am and daydream about what I would buy on a massive shopping spree.

Occasionally (okay…a lot of times) I see something on ModCloth that makes me do a double take, which in web surfing terms means squishing my eyebrows closer, putting my face up close to the computer and then right-clicking on the image to save it on my computer to lol at later. Like this “Top Hits Dress” which was apparently designed by some Danish person or company. Like, seriously, ModCloth? I’m all for supporting independent designers and whatnot but I think you have to draw the line at some stuff. Who in their right mind would think “Yes, I am looking for a sweater dress that draws direct attention to my groin. This would be perfect for days when I’m feeling bloated on my period or self-conscious about the little pouchy gut that numerous trips to the gym won’t ever get rid of, because that’s the way Nature works. Oh, and I’d also like some gold lame on it, so this area right below my waist literally SHINES with intrigue.”

It’s labeled as a “multi-colored abstract kangaroo pocket” but all I see is a giant open smiling mouth, as if this poor mannequin’s belly was grinning with joy and disbelief that someone would actually wear this.  Here’s a close-up, if you’re interested.

Also…this?

Am I the only one in disbelief that there’s a non-documentary feature film (in 3D) about owls coming out soon? Sure, Zack Snyder is directing this CG animation film, but you’re kidding me, right? Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole? Okay, I can take this as a fantasy series for young adults and I did try to enjoy the penguins in Happy Feet…but owls?

Yeah, they’re ferocious birds who come out at night and hunt down little vermin. But they’re also owls: they hoot, look kind of ridiculous, they’re part of a classic Internet meme and they puke up gross pellets (I know this for a fact; I had to dissect one in science class).

Okay, for one thing, what’s up with this guy? I see he’s got a cataract and he doesn’t look really happy, but is that a helmet on his little owl head? Like, a helmet forged and crafted from metal? How the hell do owls forge metals? THEY DON’T HAVE HANDS. Do they bang on a miniature anvil with their claws? How would they shape and mold this helmet? How is it possible that these owls have evolved enough to mine and smelt metals, but they’re still birds?! Am I really questioning the logistics of an computer generated animation about owls? YES. BECAUSE THIS STUFF IS PERTINENT.

I’m all for dragons hoarding piles of gold or magical wizard schools in England and giant mysterious furry animals living in a mystical tree in rural Japan, but I am putting my foot down with these birds.

My conclusion: this movie looks dumb.

Wait. But how? The legs? But where? And then? What? HOW DOES THIS WORK!?

I could really go for some crab cakes right now.

[via Pink Tentacle]

Also, who the fuck are these people who like to stuff live animals down their shirts? And then take pictures of it? Girl, wear a bra and leave your poor hamster alone.

Oh my god. I can’t un-see this no matter how hard I try.

Is this a kind of furry thing or something?

I’m sure there’s a perfectly logical scientific reason for this but OMG WTF IT MOVES!?

Remember earlier this year when I was perusing on Etsy and would find some of the most disturbing pieces for sale?

Well, this time, I present to you the earrings above: “Gothic Victorian Taxidermy Squirrel Feet Earrings,” which were sanitized, cleaned and lovingly pieced together by a store named “Loved To Death.”

Wow. And no thank you. I’d really hate to wearing these and feel tiny dead squirrel claws scraping the side of my face as I walk around.

*shudder*

kevin: i’m out
moyelife: bye
kevin: good luck
moyelife: have a good wkd
kevin: dont get decapitated on the bus
kevin: pz
moyelife: bye

The one thing I hate more than goths are emo kids. Seriously, like STFU and stop getting all angsty. I don’t have time for that, YOU don’t have time for that, you look awful trying to be all emotional and grow some balls.

Sorry if that sounds mean. But life is short and I don’t have time to deal with this stuff. We just had a 5.8 earthquake and my entire department freaked out when the building started swaying, and then ran outside while leaving me behind. Seriously, I was trying to figure out what to do (I was deciding whether or not I would look stupid going under my desk and if I should take my cell phone with me.) when I realized that EVERYONE in my hallway was gone. Hello? I doubt going outside would be much safer. The best part was that afterwards, HR sent out an email instructing everyone for future reference to avoid all stairwells and refrain from going outside. Perfect. I’m glad to know that when the next Big One hits, I’ll be the only one alive.

Anyway, what does this have to do with emo kids? Really, nothing. I thought I would share my story of the day along with my WTF product of the day: “jewelery for the eyes” where with a single contact lens, emo kids can show the world that they cry tears of crystal.

SOOOOO GROSSSS.

And how irritated would the rims of your eyes get with this stupid crap? Oh yeah, and having a small wire sticking out of your eye that could easily get yanked out is a super good idea.

So Morgana asked me yesterday why I don’t post ghost videos on Fridays anymore, and I explained to her that blogging is very time-consuming and to leave me alone. Actually, I really couldn’t top that first video I posted so I basically gave up.

So how about WTF Fridays? I think it rolls off the tongue better. So I present to you something that I found this morning…there are a lot of crazies in this world. Someone explain to her how rainbows work.

I also really like how when she moves the camera up and you can tell that it’s a bright, sunny day.