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My 10 Year Plan

January 9, 2010 in Asians, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Alright, so here’s the plan to start sometime in the next 10 years. I’m gonna have two kids. They’re both going to be super cute, super fat and super talented. I’m going to start the eldest one off with ukulele lessons so he (or she but hopefully a he) will be set for life when it comes to attracting the opposite sex (or the same sex cause I’m open minded like that) in college (but not high school because hey, if I couldn’t date in high school, then neither can my kids).

With the second baby, I’ll treat him (or her) to some serious hip hop dancing lessons. I know dancing skills don’t really run in my family, but as the Asian child-rearing techniques go, if you learn it early enough, you can master it.

Then, I’ll film him (or her) dancing oh so adorably with my 3D camcorder (because by 2020, they should have 3D cameras available, right?), post it up on YouTube and then make millions…somehow. Or whatever. Oh, I know. He (or she) can start a super awesome dance group to win the 21st season of America’s Best Dance Crew, because only Asians seem to win that contest. Yeah? Yeah. Let’s go.

[Video Via YouOffendMeYouOffendMyFamily]

Tags: Asian babies are the best, dance, hip-hop, youtube

Warning!

January 5, 2010 in Thoughts by Moye | 3 comments

This video may get annoying but it makes me happy. There is a little part in me that’s disappointed because the rooster didn’t hack and cough after his doodle ended. Or whatever it’s called.

Tags: funny, rooster, youtube

Hey Asian Kid, I'm Yours

December 11, 2009 in Asians, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

OH GOSH. I don’t care what you say, I’m forcing my first kid to play the ukulele and sing me songs like this. Even if he can’t speak English (or any language) to begin with.

I like how he’s just dying to pick his nose.

I also like how the ukulele is almost perfectly proportional as a real guitar to his small size.

OH MY GOSH. He even writes and sings his own songs.

OH GEEZ HE KNOWS THE BEATLES.

Tags: adorable, Jason Mraz, ukele, youtube

Sorry

November 17, 2009 in Thoughts by Moye | No comments

I think I lost a couple friends since posting that last entry. I’m sorry. If it makes you feel better, I was thoroughly disturbed by it and nowhere do I condone animal-on-animal rape.

And yeah, I just had to share it with everyone.

So to bring up the spirits, here’s the opening sequence to Up. Smiles!!!

(More like tears, which I totally did while watching this.)

Tags: sad, up, youtube

1 Chimp, 1 Toad

November 13, 2009 in Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Let me ask you something. If someone sent you this video, would you still be friends with them? Or would you, like me, be incredibly disturbed by this animal-on-animal rape that you wouldn’t ever look at nature in the same way again? And therefore, feel really weird around that person?

Apparently, I’m alone cause this is what my friends had to say.

Will: HOLY SHIT. That frog has like no gag reflex!

Chris: The sound of the child crying in the background perfectly captures my own reaction to everything about this video. There’s not enough hot water in the world to wash off this dirty feeling.

Me: You didn’t answer my question.

Chris: I think there are some states in which you could bring that person up on charges for sending you this. Not sure if Cali is one of them.

B: I say no. It was nice knowing you Moye.

Jason: Man that really sucked.

Sam: The frog was totally asking for it.

B: Don’t you guys hate it when you’re sick and you lose your voice and it sounds like you have a chimp in your throat?

Will: If that chimp suspects that frog to be a princess, he’s doing it all wrong.

Thanks, guys. I need more girl friends.

Tags: awful, frog, gross, toad, why can't i unsee this, youtube

Gosship Girl

November 12, 2009 in Asians, Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Is it just me or are they singing “Gosship Girl”? Does speaking Korean give you an American speech impediment? I know nothing about this Rainbow girl group but this whole music looks like an ad for Forever 21 and I can’t even figure out who’s who.

I also have no idea what’s going on in this video. I really thought it was 4 different girls until I realized it was the same girl with 4 different hairstyles. Does that make me racist?

Tags: kpop, music, Rainbow, youtube

Boom Bip Boop

October 12, 2009 in Thoughts by Moye | No comments

The search for the best songs to play during our dinner is making me remember some very awesome songs. Like this one.

Also, it’s hard to decide between good songs for people to listen to while they stuff their faces and good songs that make me think about how amazing the past 3 years have been. Like this song: the words are completely wrong for a wedding but we had such good times singing this in the car.

Tags: Boom Bip, Roads Must Roll, youtube, zelda

Harmonica Blues

September 11, 2009 in Thoughts by Moye | No comments

Meet my future sister-in-law (in about a month!!! ahhh!). She’s a very talented musician, as you can see in this home video clip from B’s childhood. I haven’t seen her with a harmonica recently so fingers crossed she’ll put on a special performance for our upcoming nuptials.

(And yes, that is B in the very beginning. I know, I KNOW. More home videos on YouTube, please!)

Tags: harmonica, youtube

Warning: Grossest Video Ever

September 10, 2009 in Thoughts by Moye | No comments

I’ll be honest. This will be the first time I’m posting a video on this blog without having watched it. I’m just too scared to watch it and I’m pretty sure you’ve all seen it anyway since 4 gajillion people read Boing Boing and think it’s the greatest thing on Earth (it’s not).

But thanks to Google Reader, I had everyone watch it for me. Surprisingly people obey when you post “OMG I CAN’T WATCH THIS BUT SOMEONE WATCH IT FOR ME AND TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS.” Here were their responses:

Chris: Not me.

B: It’s the most horrible thing you’ll ever see. Basically the moral is don’t go to Belize and get a maggot in your head.

Margaret: wah..

Me: I don’t care about morals!! Is it like popping a pimple and instead of gross stuff you get a maggot????

Jason: To be honest, I thought it would be bigger. That’s what she said. No, wait…

Michael: wow that was sooo cooool.

Me: Ahhhhh now i’m tempted to watch it but i know if i do, i won’t be able to erase it from my brain like the lotus boob.

B: My scalp itches

So tell me. Is this worth watching?

Tags: botfly, gross, youtube