Zach Galifianakis

It’s pretty obvious that I have a “thing” for Zach Galifianakis. It’s definitely not his beard, because I thought he was adorable on his old VH1 show, and maybe it’s the constant blazer + t-shirt outfit that somehow doesn’t look douchey, or maybe it’s just the piano? This crush developed way before The Hangover came out. Maybe it was his joke about Moons over My Hammy. Let’s not discuss his episode of Saturday Night Live. I’m going to pretend like that never happened.

But today, I figured out my connection to him after catching an interview where he stated the following:

If “The Hangover” hadn’t happened, what would you be doing now?

I was making a living doing stand up, but I wouldn’t have done it for much longer. I bought a farm and was trying to figure out how to be a farmer. I was just gonna grow food, shoot squirrels and live off my land. I’m still trying to figure out how to do that.

ZACH GALIFIANAKIS WANTS TO SHOOT SQUIRRELS. This is why we’re soul mates.